


Pieces

by Aozul



Category: Gintama
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, More characters to come, Really really slow burn, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, then mutual pining, unrequited pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 40,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4088446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aozul/pseuds/Aozul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"She had been torn to pieces, but he had been able to make her whole again." A compilation of stories mostly settled in the movie future.</p><p>(The chapter added is just an A/N)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Filling The Void](https://archiveofourown.org/works/920234) by [Aeneid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeneid/pseuds/Aeneid). 



> Hello everyone! 
> 
> I'd had this idea in my mind for two years now, and it just screamed in my head it wanted to be written, so here I go. The chapters are prompts, in no particular order. I just write them down as they come to my head, though I have the general idea already planned -I believe this is called outlining?-. This being said, don't get confused with the order and please enjoy!
> 
> Also note this is my first fanfic, so I'm just an amateur writer who doesn't own Gintama.
> 
> Please enjoy!

He pushed her hard against the wall as she grabbed his scarf, pushing him towards her and landing her lips on his. He angled his head, sloppily moving his lips against hers, slowly at first, making her beg for more. She winced inwardly at the way her body reacted to him, pressing itself to his bare torso. He responded and deepened the kiss, nibbling her lower lip as if asking for permission, which she gladly gave. He was hungry now, and she yelped when he moved his hands to her hips, squeezing them. Hers, in turn, left his scarf to tug at his hair, impatiently.

She started to tremble as a familiar heat accumulated in her lower belly, her knees almost buckling beneath her, when he embraced and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he leaned all his weight on her to keep balanced, her back pressed to the wall. He left her now swollen lips to explore his neck, leaving before a trail of kisses along her nose, cheeks and jaw.

With his head under her nose, she realized he smelled good. Too good. Her Yato instincts had kicked in long ago, and she couldn't help but to smell his lust. He wanted her just as bad as she wanted him.

He unclasped both the bottoms of her _cheongsam_ with one hand, keeping her up with the other. Disentangling his scarf from his neck, Kagura threw it to the floor and started kissing the nape of his neck. The man grunted in approval as his head went further down her body. Her clothing was starting to get in the way.

She felt hot, hazed and light-headed, the room around them completely blurred. She could only see him, smell him, _feel_ him. Her heart was erratic, beating faster with every passing second, and she was panting hard. Why the hell was she so affected by him? This was not fair. She needed more, and she needed it _now_.

"So- Sougo..." Now that had been a mistake. Calling him by his name. It was barely a whisper, but it was enough to stop him dead in his tracks. He lifted his head to meet her eyes, questioningly, and her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were clouded, filled with lust, desire and something  else she could not put her finger into. She held his gaze, blushing furiously, and she hated herself for being so weak against him. He really knew how to disarm her. But she couldn't do anything about it. She felt safe in his arms, she felt at home. A feeling she thought that had disappeared a long time ago. She actually only _felt_ when the former Shinsengumi captain was involved, so she had decided to grab onto that something that brought warmness and a feeling of belonging to her. Even if he didn't have a clue about it, she had enough with that for the moment.

She was brought back to reality when he claimed her lips again, and she melted against him.  He had said tonight was her night, just because, but she was more than willing to give her whole being to him. Not that he needed to know that, but she had decided it a long time ago, when she was left with nothing left to lose.

She held firmly onto him as he removed her _cheongsam_ a bit more, leaving her shoulders and bra exposed. A moan escaped her lips when he bit the skin around her collarbone, and she couldn't help but to arch her back towards him, exposing more flesh. He continued kissing her, all the way down to her bosom. She was biting her lip now, trying to suppress the sounds. He reached for her back and unclasped her strapless bra. It fell to the ground and she buried her face in his hair when he massaged her right breast with his hand, kissing the other and making her writhe.

_"Aah..."_

He smirked onto her.

"Don't hold back, China. I know this feels good."

She tried to answer to make him shut his mouth, but her brain was not cooperating with her, trying to register all the pleasure she was feeling. She opted then for sinking her nails in his back, leaving marks everywhere. He was now biting her nipple, playing around, and she decided enough was enough.

"S-sadist, _now_."

He looked at her again and, waiting no more, removed her _cheongsam_ completely, tossing it to the side along with her panties. She held onto his neck, tightening her legs around his torso so he could use his hands to get his pants off. He was aroused, and she felt the excitement flooding through her.

He grabbed both her legs and kissed her again. Then, without another warning, he thrusted into her.

Kagura welcomed the feeling moaning into his mouth, and he hissed in response. He set a slow pace, letting her adjust, but she was already familiar with him, so she rocked her hips against his to let him know she wanted more. He fastened the pace as he went back to her breasts, and the girl bit his shoulder to keep from screaming. The room had thin walls, and they didn't want anyone interrupting them.

_'Oh, god. Oh my god.'_

She felt the tension accumulate, her eyes shut as beads of sweat run down her face. Sougo hoisted her up even more, and her head fell backwards as his thrusts got deeper.

As her lower half started to clench, she remembered a conversation she had had a long time ago.

_"He really is a good lover, he's not called a god for nothing. And when I say god, I'm referring to every single meaning of the word."_

_"... he never sleeps twice with the same girl, though..."_

_"And he's kind of cold."_

Memories of that time and memories of him filled her head, and she embraced him, feeling his hot breath tickling her neck. She was reaching her limit, and she rocked her body a few more times before letting herself go loose. He followed her right away.

He leaned into the wall, touching his forehead to hers. They were both breathing hard, and she collapsed against him, closing her eyes and circling her arms around his back. After regaining his breath, he turned them around and lowered himself to the floor, sitting there and letting Kagura straddle him, his back to the wall. She was still breathless. He had outdone himself this time and she didn't have the strength to pull away -nor that she wanted to do so, anyways-, so she rested her head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling it with her nose and accommodating herself, wishing he wouldn't push her away.

"Feeling tired already?" His tone was teasing, and his voice was husky.

"Shut up."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

He let her be. Placing his hands in the small of her back, he stroked her hair absentmindedly. The girl, still embracing him, sighed in contentment and smiled sadly to herself.

_'You're not making this any easier, stupid sadist.'_

She vaguely wondered then if those statements from before were true, or if it was her the "lucky" one.

He was a good lover, of that she was sure. To hell if he didn't make her _feel good_. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her, the way he kissed her. It was like a new world opened to her everytime they're together.

This wasn't, however, their first night together, nor the second or the third. She had lost count a long time ago.

And if this was cold, then she didn't know what hot would be like. He always paid attention to her when it came to this, almost in a caring way, making sure she enjoyed it as much as he did. He had always given everything to her, pleasuring her in every possible way. And yet...

Could she use the word tender for the way he treated her? Was this what he did to all the other girls before her, or was she different? Was she special? She didn't know. She didn't want to know.

They said he always left when he was done but, here he was, as always, with her.

She liked to think things were special between them, even if it was just during these moments of intimacy. Outside, they were complete strangers. Long gone were the loud, obnoxious girl and the sadistic guy who had been ready to fight with each other. Long gone were the innocent moments. In the crumbled place the world had become, they had found comfort in each other arms. She had been torn to pieces. And he had been able to make her whole again. Somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with him. People said it was impossible to share a bed with someone without feelings getting in the way at some point. Not that anyone knew about _this_ , hell no, she had just heard it a Otose's when she had been younger. It had proven to be true for her, but the man embracing her seemed unfazed by it.

He always kept a straight face around her, while she was hardly ever able to keep a blush from spreading across her cheeks. She was the best when it came to ignore him, though, when they were with other people. The last thing she needed was to have someone meddling between them. She was glad Tsukuyo had never asked why she spent half of the nights God knows where. And she was even more glad that that stupid, too-smart-for-his-own-good Mayora had kept his mouth shut when he had guessed what was happening between the sadistic assassin and the stoic girl.

She sighed again, her eyelids starting to drop.

She wanted this moment to last forever. It didn't matter that he had no feelings for her, or that he used this as a way of letting out his pent up emotions, or that he would never know she had fallen - _hard_ \- for him. Because Kagura was completely in love with him. She just wanted to stay  with him, she wanted to forget all the problems that waited for her outside this room, and she wanted to feel alive.

That was the effect he had on her. She made her feel alive, free, happy.

She lowered her head and listened to the beating of his heart, now steady. It was soothing, and  it reminded her that he was alive too. When his breath became even, she knew he had fallen asleep. She stretched an arm and grabbed one of the _futons_ folded on the _tatami_ floor, wrapping them both with it. She cuddled up in his chest and whispered the three words she would never be able to tell him as she fell asleep.

   
_"I love you."_

 

 

 

 


	2. Warm

The girl woke up to a feeling of warmth and safety. She kept her eyes closed as she snuggled even closer to the source of comfort. But something was kind of off... Wait, when had she got into the _futon_? Where were the strong arms that would hold her by the waist? And the tickling sensation in her forehead caused by his soft breath? And was that fur?

Kagura opened her eyes, confused, and was met with a wall of white, fluffy fur.

"Wh- Sadaharu?"

The dog turned his head around and barked happily, wagging his tail as if greeting her.

Yes, she had been actually using her pet dog as a pillow.

"What are you doing here? And where is Sou- I mean, the sadist. Yeah. The sadist. Where is he?" She used her elbows to prop herself up and looked around, trying to find the man, but finding nothing but an empty room.

She sank in the _futon_ again, resting her head in Sadaharu's side and pouting. She really _hated_ waking up alone. Why the hell did he have to leave? She wasn't going to ask him directly, that was out of the question, but still. He should have known better by now.

The _inugami_ looked worriedly at her, sensing how upset she was and whining, and the girl smiled and turned her body to embrace him, revealing in the heat his body radiated. It was winter, and it wasn't nice waking up naked to the cold morning air. Stupid, stupid sadist.

"It's okay, boy, I'm just a bit tired, you know." Sadaharu raised his eyebrows knowingly and Kagura laughed. "Oh, don't give me that face. You're a dork. And the best heater ever, you know that? You're so warm! Yes, you are. For sure. A thousand times better than that jerk. Yup!"

She scratched his neck and he barked happily. It really made her happy spending time with him. She decided that there was no reason for her to be sad. Not today when the last member of the Yorozuya she kept in touch with was with her.  Not when she felt she could be herself. The times she laughed were scarce, and she should be grateful her loyal dog was there. If Okita made her feel, Sadaharu reminded her of happier times, easier ones, too. When she was able to be herself.

Giving him one last squeeze, she threw the _futon_ away and stood up. She regretted it the moment her body made contact with the cold morning air. A shiver run up her body and she started to tremble, her hair standing on end.

_'Isn't this room supposed to be heated? Oh, gods. It's frigging cold!'_

She strode up to the wardrobe and grabbed a big, cozy mahogany _kimono_ , slipping her arms inside and tying it around her waist. It barely reached her knees, but it was all she had at the moment.

She moved to the window and looked outside, marvelling in the snow covering the scenery. It was beautiful, to say the least. It was still quite early, so the only sounds were those made by the birds chirping happily. The sun wasn't out completely yet, his rays reaching the ice and making the scenery spark. There was a morning mist surrounding everything, making the atmosphere look magic. Frost covered the window sills and the facade of the building. No wonder it was so cold.

She looked down when she heard a new sound, and her heart skipped a beat. Perking up at the sight of him, she immediately reprimanded herself. No. She had just made her mind. He was a moron and she was happy she had her dog with her.

However, said dog had suddenly decided to push her to the door, nuzzling her with his big head.

"What are you doing? Sadaharu, stop. Oh. Oh no. I know that face. I'm not going, I'm staying here with you-" It was to no avail. The dog kept pushing her.

"Sadaharu, don't-" It was too late. When she realised it, she was already on the corridor. The big ball of fluff sat on the floor, preventing her from entering the room again.

"You sly dog... I don't even know why I have my Yato strength if I let you do whatever you feel like doing."

Sighing in annoyance, she kept cursing to herself all the way down to the courtyard, her legs ignoring her brain protests.

_'That dog, I swear he's not touching meat until he gets all old and grumpy. I wanted to spend the time with him, not with that stupid downstairs.'_

She halted when she spotted him in the porch, his silhouette contrasting with the white snow. She was now behind him, and she felt her cheeks heat up. The stupid downstairs she was actually in love with. He was wearing his pants and his hair was tied in his trademark ponytail, but his back was exposed to her. He was polishing his sword, and his muscles flexed with every move he made, making her belly do flip-flops.

_'Stop. Stop that train of thought. Now.'_

She shaked her head, trying to clear her mind, when the man spoke.

"Are you done staring?"

"Uh?"

"I asked you if you w-"

"I heard you the first time and I wasn't staring!"

_'He wasn't even facing me! How the hell has he noticed?'_

"Whatever. Are you gonna come and sit or do you intend to pass the morning standing there behind me? It's creeping me out, China."

Ignoring his jibes, she walked past him and sat down, leaning her back in one of the pillars supporting the porch's ceiling and looking skywards. It really was a beautiful sunrise. There were no clouds in the sky, and it was painted in all shades of oranges, pinks, purples and blues.

"You're gonna catch a cold."

"You're not one to talk." She didn't bother to tear her gaze from the sky.

"I brought a blanket with me, but I wasn't cold. You, on the other hand, are shivering. I suppose you're not wearing anything underneath that _kimono_?"

Kagura huffed, puffing her cheeks a little. Like hell she was admitting she was cold.  It was his fault in the first place, for making her stay outside so early. It wasn't like he was forcing her, but still... She wasn't admitting that neither.

He sighed, and the next thing she knew, the blanket had landed on her head. She glared at him, meaning she wasn't acknowledging this as a defeat or that she had accepted his help, but wrapping the blanket around her nonetheless. He shrugged, not caring about her childish behaviour. He had resumed polishing his sword, and she looked down.

"I thought you had left." She had whispered the words in hopes he wouldn't hear them. When she received no response, she lifted her eyes to look at him, and found a pair of red eyes staring back at her. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks and to her utterly mortification, he smirked.

"You felt lonely?"

"Of course no. As if I need you when I wake up. I was just wondering where you had gone. It's unusual for you to leave, even more if it's that early. You're a lazy ass."

"Well, this lazy ass used to wake up at 5 in the morning every day to train, so it's only natural I want to enjoy my new sleeping schedule. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't appreciate waking up early from time to time. This is the most peaceful moment of the day, after all. Until you came to join me, that's it."

Kagura gripped the hems of the blanket, tugging them closer to her. There was again that look in his eyes that made something stir within her, and that raw emotion in them she couldn't put her finger into. What was it? If only she knew what he was thinking...

"And you should be thankful, I was considerate enough to lie you down on a futon. I could have just left you on the floor, where I wake up."

Kagura realized then that it was true. They had fallen asleep with his back to the wall, her body resting against his, wrapped in a _futon_. On the _tatami_. She had woken up all cozy and comfortable between blankets.

"Uh, thanks, I guess."

He carefully left the sword on the floor and stood up, swiftly closing the distance between them in two steps and dropping next to her, their shoulders brushing. She ignored her heart beating faster.

"You know, China," he passed his arm over her shoulders, grabbing them and pulling her closer to him "if you don't want me to leave, just tell me."

"What the hell are you talking about? Let go of me! You're acting weird, sadist."

"It's because you're the one being weird. "He hugged her even harder. "You've got me thinking for a moment there  that you were worried I had left. I suppose I was wrong."

"Well, you were definitely wrong. You know you can do whatever you want, I won't care. It was the deal, right? No feelings, and complete strangers outside this whole mess. Now let me go."

"You don't know how to take a joke, brat. Sure, it was the deal. That doesn't mean, however, that we can't fall in love. Humans can't control their feelings."

"I'm not a brat, I'm _definitely_ not in love with you and I'm not human." She spat the words. A image of Kamui crossed her mind, and she flinched inwardly. She didn't like where the conversation was going, and she was only getting more nervous.

"Yato or not, you're still cold. You keep trembling. Just be still, dammit. You usually enjoy this when you wake up. It's not different from now. I would dare to say you _seem in love_."

"As if." Kagura was confused, to say the least. What was he doing? Of course she liked it when he embraced her when they wake up, but she could say she was groggy those times if he teased her about it. What was she supposed to do now? Embrace him back to let him know how much she loved him? She was not the kind of person who hugged others. But if she were to hug him, she didn't want to let go of him. She wasn't sure she would be able to keep her hands from hugging him _tight_.

In the end, she decided to keep still, as he had told her, doing nothing. She closed her eyes and breathed, his smell captivating her. He was warm, and she was glad it was so cold. She remembered she had wished moments like these would last forever not long ago.

But happiness was something slippery, and when a door opened somewhere, she jolted out of his arms.

"Take it easy, China. It was just a door."

"If someone finds about us, ever, you're dead."

He shrugged, getting up to grab his sword.

"As you wish, China girl. Guess I'll see you later."

With a wave of his hand, he entered the building and disappeared of her sight. Kagura sighed. What was all that about? She sat there, wondering why he was so hard to understand. After a while, Sadaharu appeared and laid down next to her, giving her another source of heat apart from the blanket the former Shinsengumi member had lend her. She pressed to him and closed her eyes, snow slowly falling from the sky.

"I'm glad you're here with me, Sadaharu. Don't ever leave without me, okay?"

The dog barked and rubbed his face against her head, letting her fall asleep as he looked after her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Musings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you have been asking por Sougo's pov, so here you go! :)
> 
> I do not own Gintama.

He didn't know how much time he had spent awake. It was pretty late, almost starting to be early, to be honest. Kagura was sleeping by his side, her back to him. He had been looking at the ceiling for a while now, but he wasn't really seeing it.

He wanted to sleep, and he had thought he'd have been slept by now, after the events from before, but it didn't seem like it. His mind was reeling with thoughts concerning the young Yato next to him.

He sighed, a few strands of his hair floating momentarily in the air and falling into place again, tickling his forehead. He hadn't got a clue about what to do with her.

The first time he had slept with her he had regretted it the moment rational thoughts had entered his mind again. What on earth was he thinking? Sleeping with the Yorozuya girl. Out of all of the girls in the city. Sure, she was pretty and had a body to _admire_ , but still.

He had wanted to flee, but the girl had looked at him and he hadn't had the heart to leave her alone. Why? She had been _scared_ , to say the least. It had been her first time. _He_ had been her first time. But he had never cared about that before. And even then, he had pondered what he was supposed to do with her.

Looking back, she must have thought the same he had. What the hell had happened? They didn't have an answer. It just had, given the circumstances. But that was another story.

It had been the first time he had thought about her as more than a brat. Because she was not a brat anymore. But she wasn't anyone too important neither. Just the former Yorozuya girl. So why had he stayed? He only had two rules regarding women. One night stands and no feelings involved. That applied to her as well. Or should have applied.

He was known for his cold demeanor, he didn't care for anyone anymore. Not when Kondo was in jail and the Shinsengumi was disbanded. Sure, he respected his old comrades, even Hijikata fell in that category, but he didn't have the heart to care anymore. He was just a lone wolf. One that still enjoyed the little pleasures life had to offer. That included some steamy nights with random girls. But nothing more. A few kisses and moans was all he needed.

He knew he was admired in the Red Lights District. He was young, strong and handsome. The rumours about him weren't for nothing, and the girls looked for him whenever he was around.  He had a mysterious something that made them go crazy and he knew how to please the courtesans. But he wasn't interested in them. After the sex, he left, not minding the pleadings or the looks the girls gave him.

So why he had stayed was something he didn't have an answer to. Not to talk about why he had slept with her more than once. He wasn't supposed to feel responsible for her, nor he was about to admit  he had enjoyed it enough to repeat it.

But there had been something else, something _different_ that had led them both to end up in the mess they were in right now. She had something the other girls just hadn't.

After some time, he had come to terms with the fact that he had started to care for her. More than he liked to admit. But what could he do? She was lost, broken and alone. That dog she had for a pet wasn't enough to fill her empty heart. He had realized that much. He had known her before. He had known the carefree, boisterous girl that loved to eat, sleep and to pick fights with him. He wanted that back. Not the dull shell she was now. And that was when he got into the equation. He just made her feel alive from time to time. And she washed all of his worries away.

It would have been inhuman not to care to some extent.

But he wouldn't have called it love. Not during the first months, at least. He had only loved his sister, so it wasn't like he had something to compare it to, but he knew he hadn't been in love with her. However, he didn't know what to think anymore.

Kagura moved and turned around, facing him. He looked at her, her bangs framing her face and her pale skin illuminated by the moonlight entering through the window. She looked peaceful asleep, as if she didn't have any problems in the world. Sougo laid on his side, pulling up the blankets to cover the girl better. He wondered again if he was in love with her.

He wanted her to be happy, and to be herself again. Because one thing was undeniable. She had changed in many ways, but most of them had been for the worst. Her eyes, once blue and full of life, were now void of any emotion. The happiness that had made her shine was gone, and her scarce smiles were fake and sad. He wanted the girl that had laughed at him to come back and to pick fights with him again. He wanted her to be in good terms with the Shimura boy again. He wanted her to get over all the sadness that had surrounded the boss' death. She deserved better.

Was that enough to say he was in love? Or was it just friendly concern? Something in between, maybe?

He sighed again and embraced the Yato, hoping it would help him sleep. She had a calming effect on him. He rested his arms on her back and pulled her closer to him, resting his head above hers on the pillow. The girl sighed in contentment. She smelled sweet, and he relaxed a bit.

"You sure are lucky, sleeping as if nothing mattered. I'm glad one of us is able to do that, China."

Closing his eyes, he imagined a time when she was happy again, smiling and laughing carefreely and he had an answer for all of his questions.

That wasn't happening anytime soon, so he would have to live with what they had now. It was enough for the meantime, he hoped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and this happens before the other chapters!

It was raining pretty hard the night she found him. Heavy drops of water fell from the cloudy sky relentlessly and the streets were deserted. Days were getting colder and shorter, giving into nights where no one would have wanted to be outside.

It reminded her of times when she had lived with her family in her home planet, and it only brought sad and painful memories back.

She fastened her pace, clutching her umbrella tightly and Sadaharu jogging behind her when something caught her eye.

It had been about three months since the last time she had seen him, and it was in a completely different situation. The man in front of her had nothing to do with the proud Shinsengumi Captain he used to be. He was leaning in the wall of a dark alley, gasping for air and using his scarf to stop the blood coming from his abdomen.

With eyes as big as saucers, she realised he was trying really hard to stay upright and when he coughed blood she run to catch him in mid fall, her umbrella hitting the wet soil. Being a samurai, however, had taught him not to let his guard down, so he raised his other arm and tried to slice her with his _katana_. She dodged and watched him fall to his knees.

"What the hell, Sadist."

The man raised his gaze to meet hers. Recognition filled his features and he tried to smirk, but it came out as a grimace.

"My, my, China... Wh- what a fancy meeting. But I don't have time to deal with you today, so you'd better leave now."

"What are you talking about? You'll be dead in less than an hour if a leave you here. What has happened to you?"

"This is what happens when you're ambushed by seven men because you're one of the most wanted samurais of the city. Now go. Your face is making this more painful than it should be."

"I don't _really_ feel like helping you at all, but I don't wanna see _your_ stupid face in every newspaper tomorrow when they found you lying on the ground."

"I won't die here, brat. I can take care of-" A new fit of coughs ended in more blood spilling on the floor.

"Yeah, sure."

She crouched to grab one of his arms, pushing him up effortlessly, and placing it behind her neck. He flinched when his side collided with hers and Kagura adjusted his weight.

"I said-"

"Shut up now, stupid. I'm thinking."

"Uh? Are you sure? I didn't know pigs could use their brains."

She glared at him, raising her arm to punch him in the belly, and he cursed.

"Way to treat a wounded person, China."

She wasn't listening anymore. She was drenched, and the last thing she needed was an ill, wounded jerk to take care of. She couldn't take him with her to Yoshiwara, where she was actually living with Tsukuyo. If she entered the place with _Okita Sougo_ in her arms, bleeding, unable to stand, _soaking wet_ and _panting_ , the girls would get crazy. She was aware of his reputation in the Red Light District. Hell, she had to listen to around ten conversations per day that involved the luckiest women and that bastard doing all kinds of everythings to them. He was some kind of deity there. Not that he went there every single night, but still... And not only that, for some strange reason she still couldn't understand, it just didn't sit well with her. The last thing she wanted was a dozen of courtesans taking care of him.

The problem was that she couldn't think of another place to go. Unless...

She hadn't set a foot in the Yorozuya since Gintoki had disappeared three years ago. She didn't want to change that, but a look to her left made her heart twist. He was starting to lose his conscience, and she could tell by the way his body was going limp. She didn't want to think about the other possibility...

Kagura waved her hand towards Sadaharu and the dog approached them, bending his legs to let her place the man on his back. He didn't say a thing. When she was done, the dog got back up and followed his owner, who had grabbed her umbrella and was heading for the _Kabuki_ District.

The way was short and she climbed the stairs quickly, stopping at the door. Her heart was beating hard in her ribcage and she breathed a few times, calming herself, before reaching for the doorknob. She grabbed it with trembling hands and slided it softly, the door opening. She was received with a deafening silence that made her cringe and want to run. The house had never been so silent.

Sadaharu nudged her with his head and she was reminded of the reason why she was there in the first place. She took off her boots and placed them on the floor, turning around to do the same with the man's. She proceeded then to lift and drag him to the room that had once belonged to her surrogate father.

She placed him on the wall, putting his _katana_ aside, and Sougo opened his eyes, regarding the room. There was dust everywhere. Kagura disappeared from the room only to come back a few moments later with bandages, some jars, rags and a basin filled with water. She didn't turn on any light.

"China," his voice was hoarse, and it seemed like he was struggling to get the words out "do you even know how to take care of a wound? I'll do it myself."

"Of course I know how to take care of wounds. Who do you think I am?" She placed the objects on the floor and kneeled in front of him.

"You're a Yato, and that means that you'd never taken care of your body. It heals on its own."

_'A Yato that took care of her sick mother and his father when he lost his arm.'_

The girl shook her head. She wasn't about to think of that at the moment. Instead, she used both her hands to remove the scarf and the _uwagi_ from his body, leaving his torso exposed. The girl blushed and cursed inwardly.

_'Don't give me this now, Kagura. He's a samurai. What else did you expect?'_

She had thought she would be immune to things like this at this point. She had seen male bare torsos during her whole life, more now that she was living in Yoshiwara. Drunk men were a sight to behold. She laughed at them whenever she could, and they loved to take their clothes off even before getting a room with a courtesan. However, all of this didn't stop the red from spreading across her cheeks.

She had seen him before, when they had gone to the beach or when they had been with the _Sh _ō_ gun_ in the public pool, but he had been still growing. Right now, she had understood why there was so much talk about him in Yoshiwara.

His skin was covered with rain and sweet. He was lean and slim, his muscles well defined. All those years training and fighting had led to pectorals and abs that were well known among the girls she lived with. His arms were strong, biceps well developed. He had some scars scattered around, which only added more _charm_ to him.

She cringed at the words she had just used to describe him, but she had to give him some credit.

"Are you done staring? You have volunteered to take care of my wound, you know."

Kagura averted her eyes from his body, mortified, and held his gaze. He wasn't smirking, as she had expected him to be. Was it that bad?

"I wasn't, you jerk. I was gauging the wound."

The wound. Yes, exactly. She had completely obviated it. There was a long cut on his right side, besides his belly button. It was not too deep, but it still bled. Damn her if it didn't bleed. He had somehow managed to reduce the hemorrhage with the scarf, but now that the wound was exposed, the blood was starting to stain his skin again.

She sank a cloth on the water and drained it, applying pressure on his reddened flesh. He hissed and bit his cheeks to keep from making another sound. She would have enjoyed it if she weren't in her skin. She was cold and she wasn't sure about what she was doing. He was right. She had never taken care of a wound like that, though she had seen others do it.

Kagura repeated the action, rinsing the cloth, draining it and pressing it against the skin during some time. The water turned red and the smell of blood filled her nostrils, making her sick. She pressed her lips together. When the wound stopped bleeding she proceeded to open one of the jars and empty some of its content in a gauze. The girl pressed it cautiously on the wound, and this time he cursed.

"Damn those bastards."

Paying him no mind, she unrolled one of the bandages and straightened him, resting his head on her shoulder and getting access to his back to wrap the fabrics around him. His breath fanned her skin, and she felt goosebumps all around. Putting the bandages around his torso carefully, she tried to keep her hands steady. She laid him back down when she was almost done and made a knot, letting out a sigh.

"Done. Now wait here and don't you dare to leave this room, you hear me? I'm gonna get changed."

"Haha, very funny, brat. Like there's something to see."

She kicked him on the arm and went for the wardrobe. She didn't have clothes left in her old house, so she opted for one of Gin's _kimonos_.

After entering the bathroom and locking the door behind her, she got rid of her red top and skirt. Her underwear was wet, but nothing she couldn't handle. She tried the _kimono_. It was far too big for her, with the sleeves touching the floor and the front part completely saggy. She adjusted it with a belt the best she could and she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

The young woman staring back at her had nothing to do with the girl that had left three years ago. Her hair was now longer and she let it loose, reaching the middle of her back. Other times she used two ponytails. Her breasts had developed and her hips had gotten wider. Big, blue eyes once filled with life were now clouded with a veil of sadness she didn't like to think about. Seeing the _kimono_ reminded her of Gintoki again and she sighed. Her heart ached numbly. She had got used to it.

She wondered what he would say. Maybe he would comment on how she was taller. Maybe ask if she was doing well, if she had become a worthy woman. Or simply tell her how big his clothes looked on her and how she was still a girl. She compared herself with the women in Yoshiwara. They were grown up, gorgeous and she knew she would never be like them. Not that she wanted to work as a courtesan, that was out of the question, and Tsukuyo would kill her before, but she wished she had that beautiful, long, dark hair. She wished she could dance and sing gracefully. She wished people would respect her, not fear her, like some did. She wished she could love like some of them did, and she wished there was someone waiting for her during the cold nights when she felt alone.

A knock on the door brought her back to reality.

"What on earth is taking you so long? I'm leaving, China."

She opened the door and stepped outside.

"Leave? What are you talking about? You couldn't even stand less than a hour ago and now you want to leave?"

"I'm used of these kind of wounds. I was the Captain of the First Division of the Shinsengumi. How many times do you think I have had injuries like this?"

"I don't care, but the next time I found you half dead on the floor I'll ignore you. I haven't taken care of you for you to walk away and drop dead in some random place in a few hours because you can't walk anymore. You'll bleed to death. Now get lost."

"If you're so worried about me I will spend the night with you next time as a reward. If you know what I mean."

"Just get lost you bastard!" Red stained her cheeks for the second time and she felt her blood boil. How did he dare? She approached him with her arm raised, ready to punch him. But he was faster this time.

"Bye then, China."

He grabbed her arm to prevent her from hitting him and poked her on the forehead, leaving hurriedly after. The girl shook her head and turned towards the living room, looking for a _futon_ in her old closet. She was staying the night. It was already late, and she wasn't about to walk all the way to Yoshiwara with the weather like that. After saying goodnight to her dog, she laid on her provisional bed and covered herself up till the chin.

"Someday I'll figure him out."

_'Along with this stupid feeling in my chest.'_


	5. Tears

The first time he had found her crying he had gone to Yoshiwara looking for a girl to sleep with. It had been one hell of a week. The Shinsengumi had been disbanded not long ago and Kondo had to get himself in jail. When he had heard the news he had tried to break him free, but it had proven to be impossible for a single man, even if said man was known as a genius.

He was really frustrated with the situation and with himself, so he had decided it was time to pay a visit to Yoshiwara and let some pent up emotions out.

He walked past the first streets, as it was common knowledge that the closest to the most important buildings you get, the better the courtesans and the least the problems you get yourself into -if you avoided the alleys, of course. He had the money to pay the some kind of luxury, as he had been a good employee for the _Shōgun_ a few months back. However, he was aware of the hard times the country was going through, so he liked to be careful. The solution to the problem was to go to the usual place, where he was already known and the girls would be more than willing to spend a night with the former Police Officer -Tsukuyo's quarters.

The building could be seen from every single place in the district, as it was huge and illuminated like a little city itself. During his way there, he received looks from both men and women. The first ones regarded him with jealousy, while the latter were more focused on sending him lustful winks. He smirked, liking the attention he was getting, but ignoring every single courtesan that latched herself onto his arm or called him. He simply shook them off.

After crossing the two wood doors leading inside the building, everything was a piece of cake. The girls' faces illuminated upon seeing him entering, and he was attended immediately. He chose the first girl that met his standards and they both entered one of the elevators.

When the doors opened on the seventeenth floor, the woman was already in his arms. He kissed her roughly, pushing her out of the elevator and guiding her back towards one of the walls of the hallway. He pressed his body against hers and she moaned. It was forbidden to practise any kind of sexual activity out of the rooms designed for such, but they couldn't care less at the moment.

Hoisting her up and grabbing her butt, he turned around and resumed walking, trying to keep his mind clear as the girl writhed against him, grinding their hips together. He had to find the damn room, given that she wasn't being of much help. She was focused on turning him on.

When he finally opened the _fusuma_ , the girl had already taken care of his scarf to start kissing and biting his neck. She was bold, and she was doing her job, but Sougo didn't like being dominated, so he had thrown her on the _futon_ carelessly.

The girl gasped, landing with a thump, but she had no time to react. The _samurai_ was already taking her clothes off and licking her breasts.

The sex was nothing special. He enjoyed himself, and the girl sure had a night to remember, but it was just like all the other nights in the Red Light District for him. However, it had served his original purpose. He was more relaxed now.

After cleaning himself up in the adjacent room, he said goodbye to the courtesan and left without another word. It was pretty late. He had taken his time with her, and she hadn't complained. The moonlight filtered through the windows, illuminating the hallway. He called the elevator and waited. When he entered it, however, he didn't have time to press a button, as it started to move on its own. Assuming it had been called from another floor, he leaned against a wall, closing his eyes and sighing. He opened them right away, as it started to move upwards. He had expected it to go down.

He was on the seventeenth floor, which was one of the highest ones. The building had twenty floors in total. The last one was reserved for Tsukuyo's rooms and her closest girls -not all of them worked as courtesans-, and the nineteenth, eighteenth and seventeenth itself were for the most important customers. So it was a surprise the elevator was going up. And it was even more of a surprise when the doors opened on the twentieth floor to reveal a tangerine headed girl crying.

He forgot that she lived there quite often.

Kagura had frozen on the spot and she looked like a deer caught up in the lights of a car. She was surprised, and Sougo stood there dumbfounded for a moment, regarding her appearance. Her blue eyes were puffy and swollen, rimmed with tears that were also streaming down her face. Her eyelashes were glued together with them and her cheeks were red. She was trembling now, even though she was wearing a long _kimono_ and the night was hot. Her hair, normally tied up in pigtails or her trademark bun, was now down, reaching her shoulderblades. The light entering through the window made her pale skin glow, as if it was made of porcelain. She looked like some kind of spirit standing there, in the dark hallway.

Regaining her senses, she lifted her hand and rubbed her eyes, glaring at him right after. Then, she turned around and started running in the opposite direction.

He didn't know what got into him, but he chased after her. She run quickly, and the corridors looked like a labyrinth, but he was used to chase criminals in those kind of places, so he followed her without major problems. She lead him to the stairs in the courtyard, that went down to the first floor and where he lost sight of her when she jumped and landed some floors below. But that wasn't deterring him. When he was on the tenth floor, the huge dog she had as a pet appeared on the courtyard whimpering, and he guessed she was somewhere near him.

It wasn't that difficult finding her after that. She was hiding in one of the most remote parts in the garden, leaning her back in a tree and crouching down in the soil, her knees against her chest. But the dog sold her away. She didn't move when he approached her. He kept quiet for a while, listening to her broken sobs. He guessed she was trying to suppress them, but it wasn't being too effective.

"This is new, China, I haven't seen you like this before. Have you finally realized you are a pig?"

Kagura didn't respond to him, and he thought it was worse than what he had predicted. The girl not answering to those comments meant something was wrong. It wasn't like him at all to stay in those kind of situations, but curiosity got the best of him. Sighing, he sat down beside her.

"So what? Did they tell you have to start sleeping with customers if you wanna keep living here?"

"Leave me alone." Her voice was hoarse. How long had she been crying?

"Well, if you have responded to that, that must mean I am right."

"Go to hell."

"Ouch, that's no way of treating such an important customer like me. You'll get fired."

"FUCK OFF!"

Well, at least he had got her to talk and curse like always. But even if she was screaming to him, her face was still buried in her knees and she was still quivering. There was something about her that he didn't like, and he did the first thing that came to his mind.

Resting his hand against her hair, he patted her head. She moved slightly, but she didn't pushed him away, so he kept rubbing her head. Her hair was soft, and it smelled like lavender. They kept like that for awhile, the only sounds apart from her sobs were those of the crickets and the frogs. Sadaharu had lied down next to his owner, giving her a wordless comfort.

When she stopped crying, he thought it was time to left. He didn't know what time it was, but he was tired and he wanted to rest. He got up and looked at her. She was still not facing him, but he guessed she was better now. Not that he cared that much about her. He wasn't supposed to care.

Turning around, he headed towards the gates leading outside.

"I'll see you around another time, China girl."

* * *

 

If he had looked at her, he would have seen the girl lift her face to look at his retreating back, gratitude in her features for the first time. It had been two years since Gintoki's disappearance, and her room in the twentieth floor had suddenly become too suffocating for her. She would have never guessed the _samurai_ was around, much less he would comfort her. She didn't dwell on the business that had led him to Yoshiwara in the first place.

* * *

 

The second time he had been on top of her, taking care of her _needs_. He hadn't been paying attention to her face, much more preoccupied with the way she writhed beneath him, her hands grabbing the sheets and her toes curling in delight. It was their second time that night, and he had only been kissing her body, but it seemed to be enough to have her pleading for more. Not that she was speaking, she was too proud for that, but he had learnt to read her every move, and he knew what she was saying without effort.

So when he moved his face from her belly to her lips to kiss her there, he was shocked to taste something cold and salty compared to her hot and sweet skin.

Tears.

He lifted his gaze to her shut eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, like the last time he had seen her crying, but this time it was for different reasons. She was gasping for air, and her eyelashes were shining with the tears. She opened her eyes to look at him questioningly. He realized she hadn't noticed she was crying.

"What's wrong?" His voice was the hoarse one this time around.

The question had surprised her, as she had stopped moving her body and had opened her mouth.

"Uh?" She was breathless, and he used his elbows to prop himself up, letting her breathe better.

"You're crying."

"Wh- what?" She touched her cheek and realisation filled her eyes, along with something else. Probably embarrassment. He was sure the last thing she wanted was him seeing her cry. But what had she been thinking about? It wasn't only curiosity this time. He was genuinely worried for her.

Before she could use her strength to push him away and go hide somewhere, he lifted one of his hands to wipe the tears away, clasping her hand in his after. He lowered his face until their noses were almost touching.

"Why are you crying?"

When the girl didn't answer, he closed the distance between them, pecking her on the lips.

"China, tell me."

She still refused to answer him, and she was looking at him with confusion written all over her face. He kissed her then on the nose, the cheeks, the eyes, the forehead. Slowly and sweetly. He wanted her to relax.

Sometimes he wished she would trust him more.

"C'mon, China girl. Tell me."

"It's nothing. Just continue." Finally regaining her senses, she lifted her hips to his, and Sougo groaned. Damn her. But she wasn't getting away with it this time. Not on his watch.

"You stubborn woman. I won't continue if you don't-"

Kagura turned them around suddenly, and Sougo found himself lying on his back, unable to move back to their previous position as the girl pressed all of her weight on him, her hands on her shoulder and stomach.

"What the hell-"

"Shut up. If you're not continuing, I'm doing it myself."

Without another word she bit his neck, but Sougo was buying nothing of it. He wrapped his arms around her to keep her in still, her face in his neck and her body flushed against his. She was light. The girl struggled to get free, but he was strong. She was about to use her Yato strength when he spoke.

"You know, Kagura, it's okay if you don't want to tell me. But you should cry if you feel like it."

* * *

 

Kagura froze at the mention of her name. He never, _never_ , called her like that. She could count with a single hand the amount of times he had used her birth name.

And then, the rest of his words dawned on her.

Suddenly, she didn't want him on top of her again. She didn't want him to stop asking her what was wrong. As a lump formed in her throat, she felt the urge to tell him everything. About her feelings, about how she had come to love him like she did, about the way he made her feel alive and safe. What could she lose? Their nonexistent relationship of what? Friends? They had never been friends. Lovers? They could keep that going. It wasn't like he cared. If he was to learn about how she felt, she was sure nothing would change. He wouldn't care either way. Yes, he was sleeping with a girl that was in love with him. So what?

And maybe that way she wouldn't have to hold back like she did. She wouldn't feel like she was lying to herself and she wouldn't have to live with regret, with the always present question of what if...

Instead, she chose to keep quiet again. Because there was always the possibility of him leaving for good or of him being killed. He was a _rōnin_ , after all. She _knew_ she wouldn't be able to live with that, without him. Not anymore. That was what had made her cry in the first place. She had been thinking about him disappearing from her life and the result had been tears.

She felt her heart breaking to pieces as the words she wanted to say burned her throat, and tears filled her eyes again. They spilled onto his neck, travelling down and reaching his shoulder. She started to shiver and Sougo moved a little, letting her arms free to embrace him. She secured them around his neck and he moved one of his hands to her hair, patting her head like he had done years ago. The trembling turned to sobs, her shoulders shaking violently, and she cried like she hadn't since the day Gin had disappeared.

He hold her in place, and she was sure if he hadn't, she would have ended on the floor curled up in a ball. A complete mess.

A part of her screamed that she should stop. What was she even doing? She was crying in front of another person. In front of _him_. She had decided she was going to be strong.

The other part, however, was telling her that people cried when they had been strong for too long. She wanted to trust the _samurai_ wholeheartedly, just this once. Even if she wasn't going to tell him what happened, he could still comfort her. Just like he was doing now.

Rubbing calming circles on her back, he reassured her patiently, waiting for her to calm down. He kissed the top of her head, and Kagura wished with all her heart he was in love with her, too.

After a while, the sobs died down and the only trace of her crying were the remaining tears on her eyes. She raised her head and rested her forearms on either side of his head, closing her eyes and touching her forehead to his. He wiped the tears away from her eyes again, keeping her hands on her cheeks, and she sighed. This wasn't like them. It seemed like one of the scenes of the soap operas she used to watch in the Yorozuya when she was younger. Kagura and Okita Sougo weren't supposed to be all tenderness, comforting each other.

 _Feelings were not allowed._ But here they were.

"Thank you." The words left her mouth just before she closed the distance between them, kissing him on the lips. She tried to pour down all of her feelings in the touch. It wasn't a hungry kiss or a passionate one. It was sweet, salty and filled with emotions. Her lips moved against his slowly, and the way they fitted made her perk up a little. He was kissing her back, and her skin grew warmer where his hand were still touching her cheeks.

She broke the kiss and awkwardly disentangled herself from him, resting her body next to his and looking to the ceiling. She wasn't sure what to do. Her heart was erratic from the embarrassment. It had been strange. She only kissed him when they were going to have sex, it was her excuse. This one, however, was completely out of place. She had kissed him just because. He hadn't complained, though. And it had felt _right_.

She was starting to fall asleep when Sougo turned to face her, his arms reaching for her. He slipped one under her head, and the other rested over her chest. She hoped he couldn't feel the beating of her heart. She angled her face to look at him, blushing, but he had already closed his eyes. Deciding they had already crossed all the lines today, she grabbed his arm with both her hands, gripping it tightly and pressing her head to his shoulder, letting him play with strands of her hair. She waited for the heat on her cheeks to cool down, and when she reached the conclusion that it wasn't happening anytime soon, she closed her eyes.

"Good night, Okita."

"Good night, China."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you all for your comments, you're all so sweet! I will keep trying my best with this story :)


	6. Secrets

Kissing her wasn't supposed to feel this good. He didn't want it to feel this good. But her lips were soft and plump, and everytime he bit her, she whimpered, moans leaving her mouth as he tasted her. He had lost count of the number of times he had had her there, straddling him, but damn him if it wasn't worth it.

He broke the kiss, puffs of air leaving his mouth as he looked at her, blue eyes lidded and filled with passion. He moved then to her jaw, kissing every spot, and the girl grabbed his hair, tugging at it.

Making out with her had not been in his plans that evening, but who cared? It was the way it had turned out and he wasn't complaining. He was gonna enjoy it, indeed.

However, he didn't want them to get too carried away. They were in the most crowded building in Yoshiwara on the most busy day. A summer festival was being held, and they could hear the footsteps of the people running down the hallways. The cheerings from outside were dimmed due to the music coming from the adjacent rooms. It would be a really amazing night.

Events such as these were not common, with the White Plague consuming everybody's time. People, however, men more specifically in Yoshiwara's case, appreciated them. So it was only normal for Sougo to pay a visit to the district. He had come with the rest of the members of the Shinsengumi, even if it was disbanded now. They met from time to time to keep up with their lives. Even Hijikata had been dragged along, though it was known he didn't enjoy the activities held at such places. People said he was a lone wolf not interested in those things, but Sougo knew better. The former Vice Chief had yet to forget his sister.

Thinking about Mitsuba still pained him, and Sougo tried to concentrate on the orange haired girl sitting in his lap. Kagura had her hair in a bun and was wearing a baby blue _yukata_ , which was a little bit disarranged at the moment, so the view he had was an interesting one. She was trailing kisses down his neck, and his skin tingled where her lips made contact with it. He came to the conclusion that if he didn't stop her now, he wouldn't be able later. Besides, the others might be wondering where he was.

Begrudgingly, he grabbed both her arms and separated her body from his. Kagura glared at him, slightly pouting.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think? You're the one that always reminds me of how you will beat me up if we ever get caught. Yamazaki and the others are in the room next to this one." His voice was back to the usual monotonous tone, and he hoped it would turn the Yato girl off a little.

She raised up then, taking a few steps back and furrowing her brow.

"Tch, just this time I will agree with you, Sadist. But you owe me one."

"Hell no, I owe you nothing."

"You know you'll end up looking for me." She smirked, imitating his trademark gesture, and Sougo sighed in annoyance.

"As if." He also stood up, lifting his arms to tie his ponytail better. Kagura _always_ messed with his hair. Said girl was next to the door trying to look decent again, so she didn't notice Sougo approaching her. As he opened the _fusuma_ , he also reached for her _obi_ , untying it and opening the _yukata_ completely, exposing her panties and her braless chest. As he rushed out of the room to avoid the punches and kicks, he bumped into someone.

* * *

 

The shriek died in her throat when the door opened and she saw the man standing outside. His eyes widened at the sight, and he didn't avert his gaze when Sougo bumped into him.

Hijikata Toushiro was looking at her as if he had just seen a ghost. He wasn't even paying attention to her body, just her face, but it didn't stop the red spreading across her cheeks.

Sougo walked backwards, and Kagura did the only thing she believed would be coherent enough. Covering herself again with the _yukata_ , she swinged her leg towards his back, aiming a perfect kick that sent him flying towards the wall, crashing it. Hijikata dodged him in time.

"WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YOU PERVERTED ASSHOLE!" Her face was burning, and she hoped, _really_ hoped, that whatever was going through the man's mind turned to 'Here we have Sougo messing again.'

"Mmmm, if you excuse me..." Mayora turned around and left, entering the other room as hastily as his legs allowed him. Well, that had been fast.

"Ow, China. That hurt."

Her attention returned to the man on the floor.

"Don't screw with me. What was that for? It would have already been a mess if he saw me, but I was naked, too! What I'm supposed to say when people ask?"

"Calm down, brat. First, Hijikata is not one to tell this kind of things to others. He will keep it to himself. Second, he saw you naked. So? He didn't seem interested, as he didn't spare you a second glance. Besides, he also saw the _obi_ in my hand." He lifted his arm, the sash still between his fingers. "He probably thinks I was tricking you, which is our routine, right?"

Kagura looked angrily at him, closing the distance between them and retrieving the _obi_ violently, putting it back around her waist.

"Go to hell."

Those were her last words before she headed towards the opposite direction of the room the Shinsengumi was staying in at the moment.

* * *

 

Sougo sighed in relief. He was glad Kagura hadn't complained more. She was a smart girl, but he had lied to her and she hadn't noticed. Or so he hoped.

Hijikata was, from now onwards, aware of their affair. Of course he was aware. That man had been second in command of the Shinsengumi, an outstanding strategic. Sougo was positive he had noticed his absence in the room, and seeing him exiting a room with a kind of naked girl would be proof enough for the Demonic Vice Chief to conclude that something was going on. Kagura had tried to play it cool, as she would had done if he had been messing with her, but Hijikata was smarter than that.

* * *

 

Some hours later, he found himself in the terrace of the room. The air was warm, and the city was filled with people, the streets crowded. Yellow and red lights were everywhere. The room had become a little noisy for him, so he had decided to enjoy the night from the balcony. He was resting his arms on the railing when he felt another presence behind him. He didn't need to look to know who it was.

"Hijikata-san."

The smell of tobacco filled his nostrils and he made a face. He hated it.

They remained silent for a while, listening to the shouts coming from the room and the way Yamazaki tried to explain his last purchase -a new badminton racket.

"I won't meddle with your life, it's something that doesn't concern me, but you shouldn't play with her feelings."

Sougo turned around, his eyes severe. The other man was leaning against the frame of the door leading to the terrace, a cigarette in his hand.

"And who says I am? You don't even know what happened."

"Kid, please. I know it. You come to Yoshiwara way to often, and you don't have _that_ much money. Also, that girl becomes a mess whenever you're around. She hides it well, but she doesn't fool me. I know how to put two and two together."

"Good thing to know you graduated kindergarten and weren't gonna meddle with my life."

"I won't. You can do whatever you want, but let me tell you that if you make her sad I'll have your head."

"Die Hijikata-san."

* * *

 

Hijikata exhaled, the smoke dancing around him. He was walking through the streets of the courtesan's district, headed for the exit and ignoring all the lecherous glances directed his way, his mind elsewhere.

He had known about Sougo and the Yorozuya girl for a while now. It was true what he had told the younger man. Kagura couldn't fool him. He knew the way she looked at the former Shinsengumi Captain. He had seen those eyes before in a girl, a woman, whose face he wanted to forget.

Longing eyes.

With the difference that Kagura had changed her attitude towards Sougo somewhere along the way.

The way she moved around him wasn't the same, as well as the vibe between them. Something in their relationship had shifted, and Hijikata had been spot on. He had confirmed it that late evening, when Sougo had come out of a room with a very flustered Kagura inside. Almost naked.

He shook his head. The last thing he wanted was that image engraved in his mind.

He had also told the truth when he had said he would have his head. When the Yorozuya boss had disappeared, everybody had taken upon themselves to take care of Shinpachi and Kagura. They had told them nothing about it, but they had been looking after them in their owns ways.

It was crystal clear to him that the girl was in love with Sougo, and he also knew how Sougo wasn't the best person to fall in love with. If the man was aware of it, he didn't know, but if something were to happen and the girl ended up hurt, he would make sure to beat that brat's ass.


	7. Words

He didn't have words to describe Kagura in those kind of situations. He really didn't have. Beautiful or gorgeous just didn't fit her, they didn't make her justice. But he didn't know more terms that would suit the girl between his arms.

It was not that she wasn't beautiful. Saying otherwise would be foolish. Her blue eyes were captivating. The way they shone differently whenever they were alone was something that didn't cease to amaze him, more even when they were only focused on him. Her lips were pink, always demanding an attention he was more than willing to give. The way her cheeks flushed red contrasted with her orange hair and, while it would have normally been an awful combination, the colours just seemed _right_ in her. Her skin was pale, a healthy kind of pale, and it drove him crazy how smooth it was. It was a contradiction, really, how a race that longed for battles and fights could have such an unscarred skin. Because she didn't have a single scar even though she had been hit, cut and shot.

Her bravery was another thing that drew him to her. How such a seemingly fragile girl like her could be so strong, both mentally and physically. Girls her age were delicate, like flowers that would break if they were pushed around a little. But Kagura, ever since he had met her, had been strong, taking fearlessly every opponent that had come her way. She hadn't hesitated to fight him whenever the chance was given, and he had been dumbfounded when he had found a fourteen years old was more than able to keep up with the Shinsengumi's sword genius. She had fought with bullets in her body and he had taken it upon himself to make sure she made it out alive every single time. He had wanted to see her grow, he had wanted to test how far she would be able to reach.

However, everything had a ending. Kagura's had come with the boss death. She stopped the fights, the strolls around the Kabuki District, her demeanor changed... The smiles and the little innocence she had left were gone for good and he found himself staring at the back of a lonely woman. She had been cold and emotionless during some time, though she had ended up opening to him. How he had managed so, he had no idea.

Pushing his thoughts aside, he focused again in the Yato. He sometimes forgot she wasn't even human. Maybe it was the reason he couldn't describe her? Words made for humans couldn't fit an alien like her. She was far beyond their reach.

"Sadist?" Her voice was soft, almost a miracle coming from her. "What are you thinking about? You're distracted." For once, she wasn't complaining. Her tone didn't suggest so. She was just curious, maybe a little eager, given the fact that he had abruptly stopped kissing her.

"Yeah, sorry. Don't mind me." Without another word, and giving her no time to probe further, he lowered his lips to hers.

The way she made him feel was another thing he had stopped wondering long ago. As soon as his skin touched hers, he felt the blood pumping through his veins, fastening with every passing second. Some kind of fire erupted in the pitch of his stomach, travelling in all directions, and he could only focus on her and only her.

Kagura moaned, already anticipating what was to come, and it only served for Sougo to kiss her harder, his teeth biting her lips. Not being able to ignore how she moved any longer, he directed her towards the nearest wall, pressing her against it and flushing her body against his own. And when the way she was grinding their hips together became unbearable, Sougo grabbed her butt to lift her up, making her gasp when her chest pressed against his and his leg moved between hers.

"Nnhhh."

_'Keep making those noises and I won't last more than two more minutes.'_

Feeling he wasn't really gonna make it any longer, he carried her towards the _futon_ , where he laid her without much care. Not that she was paying much attention to that, for as soon as her body was separated from his, she reached for his face to pull him in for another kiss. She made it clear she was starving, her tongue entering his mouth and her legs clasping around his hips after her hands got rid of his clothes. He liked it when she took the initiative, but she loved to drag things, and he didn't have much patience left that night.

"Now, now, China." Breaking the kiss, he untied her _obi_. "This only works if we are both naked." Removing her _kimono_ , he smirked. "I see you're not wearing any underwear today. Again. "

"Who would, knowing I was gonna meet up with you?"

"So you're doing this for me? How thoughtful."

"I haven't sai-"

Not wasting more time talking, he grabbed her left breast with his hand, squeezing it and rubbing her nipple with his fingers while he occupied his mouth with the other one. Kagura bit her lip and closed her hands in the sheets, refraining from screaming out loud in pleasure. Sougo loved to kiss her there as much as he loved her lips, and he knew how much she enjoyed it. He left biting marks in her chest, in the valley between her breasts, in her clavicle and her neck. When he reached her ear, she was sweating and panting hard, whimpering whenever his mouth touched her skin. He nibbled her lobe, and her hot breath against his neck aroused him more. He moved then to her belly, the flat surface heaving with every breath she took. In an attempt to keep herself from moving too much, she grabbed his hair, entangling her fingers in it and tugging with a little too much force when Sougo also bit her hip bones.

If there was a sign that proved the girl was coming undone, that was it. When she lost control of her own strength, the former Shinsegumi Captain knew he was doing things _extremely_ good. And if it was true those sensible spots existed, he was more than certain Kagura had one in her hip, right where he was actually licking and sucking and biting,

"O-Oki- aaah- Okita..."

"Mmm?"

"Yo-you damn-damned sadist!" She tugged harder at his hair, her legs tightening around him even more as he kept playing with her. "You're a te- _aaaahh_ "

He laughed against her skin. It was so easy to shut her up. So, so easy...

And then he stopped. He actually stopped to process what had just happened. He had laughed.

Okita Sougo had just laughed. The stoic, emotionless sadist had actually laughed, and in front of his so called rival, nonetheless. Said rival had propped herself up, keeping her balance in her elbows as she looked at him with eyes as big as saucers, her legs falling in the mattress. Her cheeks were red and she was still panting.

"Have-have you just-"

"No, I haven't."

"I haven't even finished the question and yes, you have, you dummy." His cheeks were the ones starting to burn now.

"I said I hav-"

Giving him no choice to finish his sentence, Kagura rolled them over, pressing her arms to his chest to keep him from moving.

"You have just laughed."

Resigning himself, he rolled his eyes and chose not to answer, focusing instead on her face. He was shocked to find her smiling at him, her eyes gleaming with joy as she tried to suppress her own laughter. Now, that was something new. The China girl laughing for the first time in forever.

"You're not one to talk when you can't even keep yourself from laughing." He wasn't saying it out loud, but seeing her smile made him happier than he wanted to admit. If he hadn't had words to describe a flustered and hot Kagura, he as hell didn't have the ones to describe a happy one. Not when she was looking at him with those eyes, like some kind of ethereal being.

"For your information, I haven't laughed yet. You can't say the same, though."

There was mischief in her gaze, and his heart swelled with pride at the way the old Kagura was  suddenly in front of him again. Without thinking, he turned them around once more, Kagura in her back as he kissed her once more, unable to restrain himself. The word _love_ crossed his mind.

It was brief, though, as he had other plans in mind. His hand moved to her sides and, when she realised what was going on, it was already too late.

He started tickling her as she tried to break free of his hold, but the way she was laughing was leaving her without air to breathe, much less energy to push him aside. Thrashing with her legs frantically, as it was the only part of her body she could freely move, she ended up on her stomach when she kicked him on the shin, embracing herself once the man let go of her. She was trying to regain her breath once more, and Sougo behold her amusedly.

"Now we're at peace. Though I have yet to kick you."

"Y-you ch-cheater! I didn't purposely make you laugh! Who gave you permission to harass me like that?"

"Harass? The way you were laughing indicated you're enjoying it quite a bit. Besides," slipping an arm beneath her to turn her around, he smirked, " I don’t think I need permission when you _love_ every single thing I do to you, am I wrong?"

To prove his point, he returned to his previous spot on her hip, and the ghost of his lips in her skin made her back arch towards him instantly, leaving her speechless. Suppressing the laughter this time, he retraced his way up, the already reddened flesh becoming hotter.

"You see, China girl, you're under my command."

"Like hell I am." Kagura frowned, her muscles tensing under her fair skin, and Sougo guessed she was about to kick his ass, so he acted swiftly and positioned himself on top of her.

"You ready?"

"Don't change topics at your convenience! And I thought you didn't need my permission?" She lifted one brow playfully.

“Have you turned into an M?” Two could play that game.

“No.”

“Then relax.”

He looked into her eyes, blue meeting red, and then everything became violet.

Kagura gasped, one hand closing in his hair as the other grazed his back. Sougo gritted his teeth, his jaw setting as he established a pace that fastened everytime the girl below him moved to meet his thrusts. Kagura was fast adapting, and he knew he was done for when she clenched her walls around him, smirking as she saw his face. The look in her eyes made something stir within him.

“You sure I am the only one _loving the things you do tome_?” Before he could answer, she angled his face to bit his ear, burying his face in her chest at the same time. “You should never forget” her puffs were scorching against him “you are sleeping with a Yato. The proudest, strongest and most cunning race in the whole universe.” She lifted his head once more to meet his eyes, her lips inches away from his. “Do not ever think of playing around with me.” This being said, she pressed her mouth to his neck, biting when he shifted to thrust deeper into her and moaning. They were both close.

“Ch-China, lips up.” She didn’t need another word to comply. Tasting the last moments of effort, he cupped her cheek with his hand as he kissed her one last time, using his other arm to support himself in order to let Kagura breathe. Not long after, the girl screamed out loud, clenching her hands in his hair. The man closed his eyes as he himself tried to restrain the sounds leaving his mouth, the room becoming blurry around them.

A few moments later, he laid down, his head above her shoulder and his lips touching her hair. His weight choked Kagura, who tried to protest. But her complaints fell on deaf ears, so she resigned herself and wrapped her arms around his torso.

“You’re heavy.”

“Mmm. You have said that already. And you’re perfectly capable of putting up with my weight. I’m not moving.”

“Don’t get angry if you wake up tied to the wardrobe.”

 “I’m not that easy to lift, you pig.”

“Do I need to remind you I’m a Yato again?”

“I know you’re a Yato. A Yato who likes cuddling and pampering. Do you really want me to leave?”

Puffing her cheeks, she closed her eyes.

“Not really…” Her hold become stronger.

His chest warmed at the statement, and he wondered why he kept telling himself this was just sex when the girl below him was more than just special to him now. It was quite stupid of him to deny the obvious, and he had never been stupid. What had started as simple, no-feelings-in-the-way sex, had turned into something much more relevant. Sougo decided right then and there that he would not have sex with her anymore, he would thoroughly make love to her, whether she knew it or not.

To hell with doubts and pretending. He was in love with this girl and he was gonna make sure she lived a complete and fulfilling life. How he was gonna tell her or how she felt about it, he didn’t really know. However, he decided those matters could be taken care of later. At the moment, he wanted to enjoy what was left of the night with the woman that had made him laugh wholeheartedly for the first time since his sister had died.

Kagura really was something else. He treasured her and he was not gonna let her slip between his fingers. He was not gonna run away anymore. Closing his eyes as well, he inhaled the scent of her hair, finally moving to the side as he closed his arms around her.

“Air come and fill my lungs, for this jerk has finally understood a girl needs to breathe in order to live!”

“Pigs shouldn’t be screaming at such hours.”

“You’ll be the one screaming if you don’t shut up.”

“Sure, China, now go to sleep.”

Letting sleep seep in, he fell asleep with the face of a smiling orange haired girl in his mind, still unable to find words to describe her or the way she made him feel.

 


	8. Siblings

The last place she had expected to find him at was the cemetery.

She had decided to pay a visit to a nonexistent official grave. She had woken up pretty early, when the rays of the sun barely shone through the grey menacing clouds partially covering the sky. Everyone else was sleeping or preparing to do so in the Red District. What was the point of living during the day if there were no customers to take care of? Kagura had adjusted to the sleeping schedule of the courtesans long time ago, even though she was not required to do so. However, if she wanted to help in non sexual matters, everyone worked during the night time anyways. It was easier for her and for the rest of the employees. She could always pretend to be a _geisha_ or she could help the _Hyakka_ capturing troublemakers, which was her favourite occupation lately.

That night had been eventless, so she concluded she might as well use her remaining forces to visit her surrogate father. She left the building wearing her usual white qipao, the one she had adapted from Gin's _kimonos_ , and her brown coat. It was autumn, and the morning air had got cold and refreshing.

Had it been any other day, she would have enjoyed the fall sun, but it smelled like rain and the Yato had to take her purple umbrella with her. The clouds above only confirmed her suspicions. Not long after she had set foot on the Kabuki District, Sadaharu stopped to look skywards, a raindrop falling on his snout. He sneezed and run to nuzzle his head against his owner's side. Kagura smiled and opened her parasol, shielding herself from the rain. It didn't take long before it was pouring down.

Not minding the mud staining her black boots, she continued her way towards the graveyard, her thoughts drifting away. It wasn't like Gintoki had a proper grave in the first place. He had disappeared, after all. His body had not been found, and they couldn't bury something that wasn't there. It had been devastating. She knew the feeling of losing someone. She had lost her mother for good, but she had had a place to bury her in her home planet. She was no longer able to visit it, but her heart ached less when she thought that she was there, at least. Waiting for her. She would come back someday, to bid farewell properly. But with Gin it had been different. Where was she supposed to go to cry? Was he really dead? The Yorozuya didn't seem right. It just made her think that he might come back, and it was painful visiting the place. They had been left with nothing. In the end, Shinpachi and she had decided to create a fake grave. It was in a corner of the cemetery, it didn't bother anyone and it gave them some kind of consolation.

When she reached the steps leading to the gate, she stopped to take calming breaths. She ended up anxious whenever she visited. After a few moments, she resumed her walking, headed for the dreaded place. She was about a hundred meters away when she noticed a figure to her right.

 _'Who the hell comes to a place like this with the weather like this?'_ It's not like she had another option, she only left Yoshiwara when the work allowed her and she only visited when her spirits were high. Kind of. But it was so early and cold and the stupid rain was drenching whoever was there!

_'Doesn't he have an umbrella or something?'_

She supposed it was a man for the clothing. Grey _hakama_ and black _uwagi_. Some kind of black  jacket with a hood ended the outfit. He was crouched a few hundred meters away in front of a grave. She was about to let him be when she spotted sandy hair. Her heart skipped a beat and she drew closer, the rain still obstructing her line of vision. When she approached him enough, however, she recognised the signature ponytail, partially covered by the hood.

Clutching the handle of her umbrella, she walked until she was about three graves away from him. Sadaharu had stayed behind, sitting and waiting patiently for her. Okita hadn't noticed her presence, or at least that's what it seemed like. You never knew with him.

She realised then that she didn't know what to do. She had come nearer without thinking, and she was at a loss. Questions piled up in her mind.

_'What is he doing here? And whose is that grave? I didn't know he has someone to visit here. Maybe is a former subordinate of his? Or and old acquaintance of the Shinsengumi? Why hasn't he noticed me? What do I do? Wait, what's this? Why am I even fretting? Gods, Kagura, pull yourself together!'_

Shaking her head, she closed the distance between them and did the most Kagura thing she came up with. She squatted beside him and elbowed his ribs to get his attention. He jolted and turned his head, looking at her as if she were a ghost. His red eyes were unfocused at first, filled with surprise and reflecting the rain, making them look more red than they should. They were also clouded, like the leaden sky above them, and then he squinted, hardening his gaze. She suppressed a shiver. There were drops of water falling down his bangs to his nose and then to the floor. He was soaking wet, but he didn't seem to care. Averting her gaze, she looked shamelessly to the stone, finding white lilies adorning it and a sole name engraved.

_Okita Mitsuba_

Kagura stared dumbfounded at the name, trying to process the information.

_'O-Okita? Wha-what?'_

She had never heard about the sadist having people close to him, much less a familiar. She had just assumed he... Well, she had wondered sometimes if he had family, but the topic hadn't been brought up and he hadn't talked about it, so she had assumed things were the way they were. She hadn't dwelled on it too much, either. It wasn't her business, after all.

However, seeing this name in front of her changed things. She looked to her right, but his hair covered his face.

"Sadist?"

She left the question unspoken, waiting for him to react. She was starting to feel uncomfortable. He hadn't spoken a word yet, and it wasn't like him not to tease her about _anything_. After a prolonged silence, in which she proceeded to cover him with her umbrella as well in hopes of  alleviating the tension, he sighed and lifted his head to meet her eyes again. He looked tired and something sparked in his eyes. Something she didn't know and didn't like. Not at all. Then, he averted his gaze and mumbled.

"She was my sister." His voice was low and raspy, and Kagura cringed at the way it sounded. It had nothing to do with the husky voice he used to whisper things in her ear more often than not.

And then it hit her.

Sister.

Her eyes grew as big as saucers, and she found herself walking on dangerous ground. Lately she had had no idea how to treat the man next to her. What was she supposed to do now? This last piece of information was completely new and she received it like a punch in the gut. There were too many things to ask. How had their relationship been like? Were they close? Did they get along or were they like a certain pair of siblings she knew too well? When had she passed away? Had he been sad? Had he even been there? Was he sad now?

She felt at a loss for words -again- though, and she couldn't help but to look at him, trying to maintain a calm facade. The one he wore so well had fallen completely apart, and that answered some questions. She recognised then the glint he had seen in his eyes before. He was sad, and he was in pain. She wanted to scream and run away, because this was hitting too close to her own heart, and she didn't want to remember the people she loved that were gone. She wouldn't be able to visit Gin's grave today.

While in her inner turmoil Sougo finished his prayers and stood up, heading towards a shrine near the back of the place. Kagura was quick to follow, covering him again from the rain and biting her lip. When they reached it, the roof sheltered them and the girl closed her umbrella. She stood a little away from him, thanking all the gods above when Sadaharu approached them and sat next to her. She buried one hand in her fur and leaned against him, waiting and feeling helpless.

"She was some years older than me." He started slowly, and she observed him out of the corner of her eyes, to let him know she was listening. "She took care of me when I was a child. My parents passed away and she was all I had ever since I could remember." Her heart clenched. "She made sure I didn't feel alone and she used all her force to make me happy. However, she suffered from a lung disease. After I entered Kondou's _dojo_ , she had more free time to take care of herself, but we couldn't bring her with us when we came to Edo. She wanted to, and we wished she could have, but her health didn't permit it. I sent her letters and she would answer to every one of them, saying she was getting better, both physically and mentally. Five years ago she was engaged to a businessman here and she came to visit. In turned out the bastard just wanted to take advantage of her close relationship with the Shinsengumi. In the end, she didn't make it. Boss was there, he helped us. He helped me." His voice was cold, but it didn't waver. "Yet, it didn't change the fact that we left her behind."

He fell silent then, and Kagura listened to the raindrops falling heavily from the sky. She didn't know what to say. Did he even want her to say anything at all?

"I'm going now, I have some business. Bye, China."

It was sudden, but Kagura watched him leave silently, the rain engulfing him for the third time as he walked past the graves. When he disappeared from her sight she turned towards Sadaharu. The hand in his fur had grabbed it and was tugging pretty hard.

"I- Sorry, Sadaharu! I didn't realise..." The dog looked at her questioningly, and she smiled sadly. "We're heading home, sorry. I can't visit Gin-chan right now. C'mon." He followed her dutifully, keeping close to her.

* * *

Not long after, she decided she didn't want to come back yet, so she wandered aimlessly around the destroyed city. Sadaharu walked beside her, watching out for her. She was looking down, her gaze fixed on her boots as she placed foot after foot. She was so entranced in her thoughts that she didn't notice the figure walking in the opposite direction, bumping right into it. Sadaharu barked, and she took a few steps back to look up at the stranger's face.

"I'm sor-" Her words died in her throat when she recognised the person standing in front of her. "Mayora? Watch your step!"

"Hello to you, too, China girl. And what kind of attitude change is that? You were the one looking down!" He pulled a cigarette out and tried to light it, but the rain damped it instantly. He didn't have an umbrella neither. "Tch, damn weather."

Kagura regarded him for a few moments and then resumed her walking.

"I don't feel like seeing your mayo addicted face. Bye and die!"

"What the hell! That's the only thing you've learnt from Sougo?"

She stopped at the mention of his name, her cheeks suddenly heating up due to the facts that no, it wasn't the _only thing_ she had learned from him, she was reminded that he actually knew about their relationship and she remembered the previous events in the graveyard. An idea popped into her mind and before giving it a second thought, she spun around to look at the former police officer again.

"Did you know Mitsuba?" She knew it was a stupid and bold question, of course he had known her. He had been living with Kondou and Sougo for a long time, even before they came to Edo. That's what she had heard, at least. But she didn't know another way to approach the topic, so she decided to be blunt about it.

The man's shoulders tensed and his cigarette fell from his mouth, landing on the wet soil. Kagura noticed his eyes grow big, and for the first time, the man in front of her was left speechless. Well, that wasn't what she was expecting.

"Mmm... Mit-Mitsuba, you say?" He choked for some reason, and it only picked Kagura's curiosity more. "Ye- yeah, I knew her. Why are you asking? That was a long time ago." He frowned, regaining his composure.

"I  met the sadist at the cemetery before. I didn't know he had a sister."

"I see. It's not like Sougo to talk about her, though I thought he would have told you?" The last part came as a whisper, more like talking to himself than to her. Nonetheless, Kagura heard it.

"What do you mean you thought he would have told me?"

"Hmmm? Ah, nothing. It was nothing. What do you want to know about it?"

Kagura was surprised with the question. It wasn't like Hijikata to talk about those matters neither.

"Well, it's not like I care but, were they close?" Something poked her to ask that question. An image on Kamui flashed across her mind and she grimaced.

Hijikata smiled softly, and Kagura discovered yet another face she had never seen before.

"Yes, they were. Mitsuba was like a mother to him, and he treasured her like the most important thing. He was a completely different person around her. He smiled, laughed and bought her presents. After she passed away, Sougo didn't talk about it with anyone. I don't think he has yet. I know he blames himself for what happened. He thinks we left her behind but, more than anything else, that _he_ left her behind."

Kagura listened intently as the pieces connected in her head. Some things about Sougo were starting to make more sense now. His coldness and aloof demeanor had more to it than it seemed.

"You know, if you're that close to him," Kagura eyes narrowed threateningly and Hijikata raised his hands in defense "you should try to talk with him. He might vent it out with you."

"That's none of your business." She didn't point out that their relationship was supposedly about that. However, while Hijikata was more likely referring to talking, they always ended up involved in more _physical matters_.

"Yeah, whatever, I have things to take care of. See you around." He lifted one hand to bid her farewell and left.

Kagura turned around and resumed her walk as well. It had been a long morning, and it hadn't been even two hours since she left Yoshiwara.

After some more time wandering, her feet took her to the cemetery again, and she realised she hadn't paid her respects to the woman that had occupied her mind the whole time. Making her way towards the grave and praying for Gin not to get too mad at her, she kneeled with respect before the stone, her umbrella against it as she clasped her hands.

_'Good morning, Mitsuba-san. My name is Kagura and I'm... I'm Sougo's friend. I think he's doing fine. Well, as fine as these times allow us. I will make sure to take care of him. But he's strong, so he doesn't really need that much protection._

_I have also talked with Hijikata about you. The truth is I didn't know who you were, so I hope you don't mind I asked him about it. I hope you're doing well, too, wherever you are. I will come to visit again. Until then, rest in peace.'_

She stood up and picked up the umbrella again.

"Let's go Sadaharu, I'm starting to get sleepy and I need to change into dry clothes. I'm gonna catch a cold."

She decided it had been more than enough for one morning.

  
  
  
  



	9. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was for Sougo's birthday -July 8th-, so I hope you enjoy :)

Sougo woke up tangled up with Kagura and the _futon_. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that. He was still groggy, but the lavender was unmistakable. He inhaled softly, her scent waking up more than just his conscience. He snorted. How did she do it? She wasn't even awake and he already wanted to eat her alive. He didn't know where he took the strength neither, considering the events from the night before. _Tanabata_ was always a busy night.

Cracking one eye open, it took him a moment to realize where he was. His head was resting in the crook of her neck and he only could see past her shoulder, but the _fusuma_ were enough for him. It was strange for him to wake up there, as she preferred to avoid her room, but they hadn't had the patience to look for another place the day before.

There was light coming from outside, but not very strongly. It was probably some hour around the evening. He closed his eye again and relaxed his muscles, Kagura's breath moving his bangs and tickling his forehead. He didn't know why, but he didn't mind being like this with her. He didn't feel the need to flee as soon as he was done, and he ended up enjoying his sleep. No nightmares, no threats.

He was starting to doze off again when his peace was interrupted. Two knocks on the door were enough to wake him up completely, and he incorporated, using one arm to support himself and the other to shake the sleeping girl beside him awake.

Kagura furrowed her brow and swayed her hand in the air, as if trying to shoo away whoever was trying to disrupt her dreams.

Another knock was heard, this time accompanied with a girly voice.

"Kagura, are you awake yet?"

 _'What do you think?'_ Sougo cursed inwardly and put his mouth in her ear.

"China, there's someone at the door asking for you."

If his voice wasn't enough to wake her, the message sure did. She jolted upwards, her hands gripping the _futon_ to cover herself and her eyes scanning the room. Looking to her right, her eyes grew bigger at the sight of the man on the sheets below her.

"What are you-"

"Kagura, I'm coming in."

"Shit."

Sougo watched with amusement as the girl slipped onto the sheets again, throwing herself unceremoniously on top of him to cover them both with the futon as the door slipped open. Her body was much smaller than his, but the force of the impact was the same. She really was unlady like. His face ended up pressed against her stomach, and he wondered if her size would be enough to cover him up. He had grown quite a bit from the 1.70m he used to be.

"Good morning, Aya-chan! I, um, I am not decent at the moment, that's why I didn't open the door myself." Kagura's voice was sleepy.

"Yeah, sure. You weren't sleeping at all. And it's more like good evening, Kagura. It's four o'clock already."

"Really?! I hadn't noticed." She faked a laugh, and Sougo felt it reverberate through her body. She was leaning her head in her arms and facing the opposite direction of the door, so she had to turn her face towards the girl. An idea popped in his mind, and he grinned.

"Anyways, we have important guests tonight, so you'd better get ready on time! The girls want you downstairs in an hour."

"Yes, of cour- _aaaah_."

Kagura gasped, and Sougo squeezed her breast harder.

"Are you okay?"

"Ye-yessss" She tried to speak, but he wasn't about to let that happen. This was far more entertaining that what he had been doing minutes ago.

"Really?"

"Ah- aha. I'm not feeling well, that's all. I'll be back on my feet later, though."

"If you say so... I'll see you later."

Even though he was busy licking, sucking and biting, he heard the door closing. A moment later a very angry Kagura had pinned his arms to the floor.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

"I was trying to _do you_." His eyes glinted with mischief.

"Don't you dare. I swear if you ever do that again I will kill you."

"C'mon, China. We both know you're dying inside with need."

"I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you. I'm the one on top now, and I say _no_." She was still frowning, but she seemed more collected and her breath had become even. "It was enough with yesterday. I won't risk getting us caught. A lot less here."

She stood up, the _futon_ still wrapped around herself as she took a few steps back.

"I want you out of here in five minutes. Take the back stairs, I don't need anyone to find you were here."

With that, she left the room and closed the door after her. Sougo sighed and stood up as well to get dressed himself.

What a way to start his birthday.

* * *

Kagura strode out of her room hurriedly. If she had dared to look back, she would have ended between his arms. She would have allowed it any other day, but not in her room in Yoshiwara when there was so much people on the hallways. Aya had said important people were coming tonight, though she had no idea who could they be.

Nobody asked about her appearance, and she paced through the hallways, waiting for Sougo to leave. She needed to take a bath, but the common ones were out of the question. They had been for some time now. She wasn't about to enter them with her skin full of hickeys. She used to be more careful about the places she allowed him to do them, but he seemed to love her neck just as much as she enjoyed him choosing that place. Or her breasts, for the record.

After what seemed like an eternity, she returned to her room to find it empty. She threw the _futon_ to the floor and entered an adjacent room, where a big basin with hot water was already waiting for her. Aya must have taken care of that.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she flushed and confirmed that, indeed, she would need a lot of make up that night. Starting on her neck and ending on her legs, her skin was covered with purple dots everywhere. Damn that man. The slap he had received had been worth it, nonetheless.

* * *

When she arrived to the receiving room, dressed in a golden _kimono_ with red and orange _kois_ and her hair in a ornamented bun, Tsukuyo approached her and guided her to the outer garden. Her expression was severe.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd out of Yoshiwara by now!"

"Eh? Aya told me to get ready! We're receiving some big fishes tonight, aren't we?"

"Yes, _we_ are, not you. They're Yatos, Kagura. I wouldn't risk them being related to your brother."

"They are _what_?" Her heart started beating faster at the mention of the name, and she wondered why hadn't anyone told her about this. With Kamui having proclaimed he was the second King of the Red Lights District, it was never too safe for her to be there. A lot less less with yatos roaming the place.

"They are here for _business_ , if you know what I mean. The last thing I want is them knowing  we have a _female_ Yato hiding here. I need you out of here now."

"You don't have to tell me twice. I'll come back in about two days."

"Will you be fine with that _kimono_?"

Kagura smirked.

"It's not the first time I run across Yoshiwara in a kimono."

* * *

Five hours later, Kagura found herself stuck in a dark alley behind some wooden boxes. She had been there for the last four hours, and the situation didn't seem like it was about to change. It had taken her less than five minutes to spot the first Yato after she had fled. Those bastards had come in hordes. It was not normal for so many of them to be in the same place, so this was some special event. Damn them for celebrating it here.

She had been careful from the start. A red haired girl running around in a golden _kimono_ was meant to attract attention, much more in a place like Yoshiwara. She had left the building through the back door in the garden, that led to an alley as dark as the one she was currently in. She had made sure to avoid the most busy streets, making her way through the shadows. She didn't need to see the Yatos to know they were there, and she was sure they would end up noticing her as well. She was the only female Yato in the Earth at the moment, after all. If they were as drunk and horny as the men who usually visited the place, she was doomed. She could hold her ground against a human, but a grown up of her own kind was another thing. And she didn't want to remember the last time she had had to fight one of them.

The gates leading to Yoshiwara were guarded by Yatos at the moment, that was a fact she didn't need to check. That's why she had decided to wait in the most safe place she had found. The damp and dark alley was far away from the center of the district, so there weren't Yatos around. She was glad it was summer, as she would have frozen in winter.

Embracing her legs close to her chest, she leaned her head on her knees and sighed for the nth time. She was bored, alert and a bit frightened, all at once. If her brother was around he would find her for sure.

She was thinking about the possibilities of her brother being there when she felt a presence above her. Gulping, she lifted her gaze upwards expecting to meet icy, blue eyes, but finding amused, red ones instead.

"What a sight to behold. Is it you, China? And is that fear I see in your eyes?"

Kagura stared up at him dumbfounded. He was leaning in a window she hadn't seen until now, his head hanging out of it above her.

_'What's he doing here?'_

"What are you doing here?"

"Don't you think I should be the one asking that? You're the one scowling in the dark, dirty street."

"Yeah, well. It's not like I chose it" She wished she could take back those words the moment they left her mouth. She knew what was coming and she was not in the mood.

"I heard pigs liked the dirt?"

"Look, Sadist, I don't really have time to deal with you right now. So you'd better go back to... whatever you were doing."

"I was trying to-"

"Captain! Where are you?"

"The sake's gonna run out! You should be the one gulping it down since it's your birthday!"

"Don't be a kid and come out like a man would do!"

Kagura heard said captain sigh in annoyance as her mind registered the information. Was it his birthday today? She remembered it being during summer, but she had stopped keeping track of the days a long time ago. She observed silently as Sougo ducked his head in the shadows of the alley as well. When the voices died down, he spoke again.

"As you can see, I was trying to run away from that when I happened to find a miserable amanto sulking."

"I'm not sulking, dammit! I'm just hiding here because this place is infected with Yatos. Again. It seems they are in need of a great time."

"Ah, I see. So they were the customers you had to take care of and now you're actually trying not to get raped by this happy, horny clan of yours."

"Very funny. Now that you know it get lost an-" Her blood froze and her hair stood on end.

"Why have you-"

"Shut up." Kagura lowered her tone to a whisper. "Shit, there are two of them close. Too close. They must have felt me. Shit."

She could feel them as well. She didn't need to do much effort to notice two presences approaching the place she was actually in, nor did she needed to see them to know they were Yatos.

"I have to go _now_. See you-" As she was lifting herself up, she felt her arm being jerked down by Sougo, making her lose her balance and effectively sitting her on the ground again. She was about to break that head of his when he poured something hot and smelling on her, drenching her _kimono_ and trespassing it until it reached her skin. The contrast of her former cold body with it shocked her, and the stink of the liquid made her gasp. What on earth was that bastard doing?

She realised with horror two silhouettes at the entrance of the alley when Sougo bent down his body to whisper something on her ear. Then, he grabbed her hair, lifted her head and kissed her hard.

_"Follow me."_

She was shocked at first, and she tried to resist. Did he not understand there were two Yatos there looking for her? He was gonna get them both killed. And she preferred not to think about the extras she would get before that happened.

She bit his lip till it started to bleed, and Sougo broke the kiss to bite her ear in retaliation.

"Just play along, you brat." The tone he used sent shivers down her spine, and she found herself getting up to meet his body against hers. Her mind went completely blank and she acted out of reflex. Closing her arms around his neck, she kissed him back.

* * *

 

When she became aware of her surroundings again, she was inside the room the sadist had been previously in. He had just closed the window, and he was looking at her. She tried to hide the fact that her legs were trembling by leaning on the wall. Her mind was reeling. When had she exactly decided it was fine to make out with Sougo when there were two -probably horny- Yatos looking for her? When had she decided it was safe? When had she decided _they_ were safe?

The answer came without effort.

_'He's here and you feel safe.'_

"They have left."

Trying to get a hold of her inner turmoil, she struggled to force the words out of her mouth.

"What was that."

"You told me once that Yatos are very sensitive to smells, and those bastards have come here to get laid. A young Yato like you, as I'm sure you've already guessed, must smell like candy to them, so I drenched you in alcohol to cover your scent. In case that wasn't enough, I started Plan B. You have quite a characteristic smell when you're aroused. One they're not familiar with. I guess we were also lucky they didn't follow us here." He smirked and Kagura stared at him. Not only had he come up with two solutions in the span of mere seconds, but he had also managed to leave her speechless.

It was true. Yatos relied on their instincts the most and, when it came to sexual matters, the smell played an important role. It turned the other person on as well as it was used to recognise each other. Sougo had covered her up in sake, in hopes it would cover her Yato scent and as things had turned out, it had been effective. He had also excited her to change her smell. It was risky, as it could have been the final prove the other Yato needed to recognise her as one of their kin. After all, it didn't matter the situation, her smell would always be the smell of a Yato. Though, as things had turned out, they weren't sick enough to interrupt two young lovers when there were hundreds of willing girls in the zone.

She wasn't sure how she had avoided the situation, because every effort seemed futile with her clan, but she was somehow safe for the meantime.

"You can thank me later, after I have cleaned you up."

The words pulled her out of her trance, but the _samurai_ was already pinning her to the wall.

"Uh? I don't-"

Sougo breathed in her neck, and she sighed despite herself. He lingered there, above her skin. He made sure not to touch her, but the ghost of his lips in her body was enough to made her whimper. Her body knew what would come after, and it wanted nothing more. Deciding that it made no sense to resist something that she wanted, she relaxed her tensed muscles, giving in.

* * *

The moment she sighed the first time he knew she had her, but he wasn't touching her until she gave him permission. When he felt her body relaxing, he smirked and lowered his head, his lips pressing against her pulse. She shuddered. He had told her he would clean her up, and he intended to do so _right now_. He had been drinking before, but the added lavender scent of the alcohol was something he had yet to taste.

Excitement flooding through his veins, he licked her throat once, twice, thrice, slowly and teasingly. The makeup had gone to waste with the sake, and he wasn't making it any better. Three moans escaped her mouth when his tongue touched her, and he wondered how such a violent girl could become like this. He wasn't complaining, though.

She tasted like alcohol -as he already expected- but, rather than making him sleepy, it was having the total opposite effect. His senses were awakening, and he bit her, sucking and leaving a red spot. He stopped then, waiting for a punch or a slap. It was summer, and she wasn't gonna go around with a scarf around her neck. She had beaten him before for that the night before. This time, however, when nothing came, he lifted his gaze to find blue eyes filled with wanton.

It struck him how ready she seemed when not five minutes ago he had seen panic in her eyes. The panic of someone who fears for their life. What had made her change her mind so quickly?

"Are you waiting for something or what?"

Another thing that surprised him about her was how much she liked him to be the one leading. It wasn't that she was submissive or that she didn't like to take the initiative, but he always turned out to be the one doing most of the foreplay. And what got him the most was how he was almost eager to comply.

If they had told someone, they would have called them liars for sure. A bossy, stubborn and proactive girl such as her actually allowing him to do whatever he liked, and a sadist like him pleasing her supposed to be victim. It wasn't like them at all, but they had never complained about it and this was how things were for them on bed.

Kagura tugged at his hair -again- and he refocused. She hadn't complained about the hickey, so he might as well get some more done. As he returned to his neck, though, she opened her mouth.

"The door..."

"Mmmh?" At the moment, he was far more interested in her lavender and alcohol savored skin than in some wood structure.

"Close the door."

"Which door?" He was still paying attention to her and only her, not to the annoying voice that kept replacing her moans and cries.

"Th- _God_. The one your acquaintances could come through at any time."

"I'm taking you to the bathroom in a moment. It doesn't matter." The place the former Shinsengumi members had brought him was some kind of inn with rooms and adjacent individual bathrooms.

_"The door."_

Sighing in defeat, he was about to made his way to said door when he noticed Kagura was not planning on letting go of his hair.

"China, it's physically impossible for me to get to that damned door if you don't let me go."

"It's not."

He looked at her blankly.

"You don't want me to actually carry you there, right?"

"Fight me. I'm getting cold here." Acting nonchalantly, she tightened her grip on his hair, her arms resting on his shoulders and her legs waiting. She locked her eyes to his. "Well?"

"Goddammit you obstinate woman." Flexing his arms, she hopped at the cue she was waiting for and he grabbed her. "Please, and for my mental health, shut up now."

"Should I remind you that this very evening you were the one dying to, and I quote literally, _do me_? I'm giving you what you wanted and I'm only asking you to close the door. So you stop complaining."

"You'll regret those words in a moment." With that final sentence, he finally closed the door and headed for the bathtub.

* * *

About an hour and a half later, Kagura was still glued to him. She hadn't let go of him, not during the _clean up session_ , not while he had been trying to get them both dried and clothed. The room included a pair of white _kimonos_ they were currently wearing.

"Have you actually thought about letting go of me?"

"Mmm."

"What's that supposed to mean? I don't speak pig language."

"I'm tired, you chihuahua. Take me to bed."

"Funny, as it doesn't seem like I have another option."

Carrying her in his arms, he approached the _futon_ and got on his knees to lie her down.

"Good chihuahua.

He plopped down next to her, the weariness of the night catching up with him. He was facing her back, as she had curled up facing the opposite direction. The _samurai_ closed his eyes  and put one arm around her waist, drawing her closer to him and resting his forehead in her nape. Kagura grabbed his hand with hers, keeping still for a moment before. Then, she brought it up to her chest, keeping it between her fingers and pressing it close to her.

"Okita?"

He opened one eye at the mention of his name.

"Yes?"

She squeezed his hand.

"Happy birthday."

 


	10. First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! :D
> 
> This chapter is pretty important, so I hope you like it and everything is alright!

She remembered the first time she had slept with Okita Sougo like it had been yesterday. She had lived in Yoshiwara for about three years and she had been working as some kind of _geisha_ during that time. Entertaining men, but never sleeping with them. Tsukuyo had made that clear. The blonde had only agreed to let her live there under one condition -she would _never_ work as a prostitute. However, Kagura had refused to stay without contributing, so they had reached that agreement.

Kagura had been sixteen when _someone_ had first shown interest in her. It was her third month there, and he had walked in one night with some friends. They had booked a room and had asked for a few courtesans. Kagura was among them, still learning the basics.

It had been peaceful for most of the night, with the typical laughs and some people leaving, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, the girl hadn't missed the man's gaze on her throughout the soiree. He was attractive, with black short hair and hazel eyes. He must had been in his mid thirties, and the girls were all over him. He had spoken briefly to one of the women in charge, and she had shook her head looking in her direction. Nothing had happened that night.

From there onwards, the man would come back regularly, always accompanied with other men. Sometimes they saw each other, other times they didn't. They did small talk even if she wasn't interested -it was her work, after all- and from time to time they took walks through the garden. He had never suggested anything, yet it was obvious he had talked with Tsukuyo about her. She had told her nothing about it, though.

When her eighteenth birthday was approaching, however, things changed. He wasn't subtle anymore, he was downright courting her. Not that courtesans usually needed that, but she was not the typical one.

At first she had been confused. She wasn't used to that _much attention_ , even if she had been in the Red Light District for more than two years. She was pretty, and people commented about her exotic looks and her curvy body. She was aware of that, though she had never paid it any attention. This man, however, wouldn't leave her alone and she started to dislike his company. He was like her shadow.

It wouldn't have been a problem if times were different. She would have ended up kicking his ass. But one thing was sure - the White Plague was taking its toll on everyone and the money was needed. The amount that man was offering for a night with her -her first- was exorbitant.

When she went to talk to Tsukuyo about the topic, she wasn't faced when the Death God Courtesan looked at her with fury in her eyes and told her to stop talking nonsense. There was only one rule the Yato had to follow. But Kagura knew her way around the older woman and she alleged that she would be old enough, she had nothing to lose and she didn't mind. Besides, considering she was a Yato, she was off age already and the _Hyakka_ Boss couldn't do nothing about that. What was a stupid thing as her virginity compared to the money they could use to eat? It took time but, in the end, she somehow convinced the blonde.

And then, the day came.

* * *

 She had spent the whole afternoon getting ready and the only thing she wanted was it to end soon.

Saying that Kagura was nervous was an understatement. She had never really thought about what was to come, because she had wanted to help and it was the only way she could think of. If that man was willing to pay a huge amount of money in exchange for a night with her, she wasn't going to refuse. Still, that hadn't stopped her from pushing the topic to the deepest corner in her mind. Because everytime she thought about it, her legs wobbled, her stomach constricted and her heart ached. Not because she wasn't ready to sleep with him, but because when she thought about intimacy, about _her first time_ , a certain sandy haired _samurai_ came to her mind.

Her cheeks burned, and she shook her head. This wasn't the time to be thinking about that. Said _samurai_ had nothing to do with her anymore.

Even with that resolution, though, she had cried herself to sleep the night before. That would be the only time she would allow herself to mope about the topic.

A shadow appeared behind the door, and she breathed deeply.

_'This is it. It's alright, I'll be fine. I've had it worse.'_

The door opened, revealing the man, whose name she didn't really remember -not that it mattered- who entered the room like he owned the place. Kagura plastered on her face one of those fake smiles they had taught her and offered the man a seat beside her.

"I'm glad to see you're as beautiful as always."

"Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to be here tonight."

_'Oh my god let this end soon.'_

The man fumbled inside his kimono and brought up a bottle of liquor. It looked expensive.

"I hope you don't mind drinking this, but I thought a special occasion deserved a special bottle of sake."

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness, and I'll be more than glad to drink it with you, sir."

He poured down the sake in two cups, and offered her one. She accepted it and looked at its content. The liquid was a pale shade of pink, and she wondered how it would taste. She sipped, and the liquor scorched her mouth. She thought of spitting it out, but that didn't seemed very lady like, and she wasn’t ruining this now. She gulped and let the too sweet, too hot sake go down her throat.

When she looked up again, the man was smiling at her, ready to serve her another shot. His glass was already empty. She smiled again and offered her cup.

_'Fuck off already. Just finish what you've come here for.'_

They started small talk, and the man kept serving her sake. She tried to slow him down by taking small gulps, but in her third cup she was starting to feel nauseous. When he tried to serve her the fourth, she excused herself.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not feelin-" The cup slipped between her fingers and crashed on the floor.

A throbbing pain shot through her head and she started to feel dizzy. She attempted to take her hands to her head, but they fell limply against her sides. She was soon on the floor, lying on her side.

It was confusing. Her body was not reacting and, as much as she tried to make her brain work, she felt it shutting down. Her breath became laboured and the room was suddenly too hot.

"Ah, I see it's already making effect. I'm sorry, Kagura- _chan_ , but I plan to have a very nasty night with you, indeed. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't run away. But don't you worry, please. You won't regret anything of it when you wake up tomorrow. I promise you it will be worth it, and you won't forget the sensations that will flood through your body tonight."

She felt a hand took a strand of her hair, and the last thing she remembered before passing out were his lustful eyes and the strange feeling in her stomach.

* * *

 

When she opened her eyes again, something was off. She had to close them immediately, as the dim light illuminating in the room made her brain protest. She guessed she was lying on a _futon_ , and the room was hot. Too hot. With eyes still shut, she tried to remember what had happened. Lustful eyes appeared on her mind and, even though she should have been disgusted, something within her stirred.

Someone moved beside her, and her eyes shot open again, regarding her surroundings this time. Surprise and relief flooded through her when she saw a familiar pair of red eyes looking at her, and her blood run faster.

"Well, China, you're finally awake."

The other bastard was nowhere to be seen. Kagura opened her mouth to answer, but her throat was dry and she was having trouble to think properly. Okita continued his talking.

"Here I was today, ready to enjoy myself, when I saw you being dragged by a creep. I should have left you both alone, considering he was ready to ravish you there and then, but he was so damn gross I decided not even a monster like you deserved it. I wonder what he was looking for in the hallways with you at his back. You looked like a potatoes sack."

"I... Th- that asshole has d-drugged me..." She was talking more to herself, her tongue raspy and slow, but the _samurai_ didn't miss the way her hands trembled.

"I know."

Kagura looked at him questioningly when he confirmed her suspicions.

"He said it was a special aphrodisiac for Yatos. Lowers strength, rises libido. Though I didn't believe it was possible for someone to want you that bad. Besides, wasn't he gonna spend the night with you nonetheless?"

Kagura's cheeks burned -more than they already were- and she wondered how was he able to talk about this kind of topic so naturally. Sure, they were in Yoshiwara. Hell, she was working _there,_ but still...

 _'Oh, fuck. Why am I surprised? He has always been this way.'_ She still wondered, though, how did he know about this.

"That should be none of your business, but yes."

"Didn't Tsukuyo forbid you to sleep with customers?"

"She did, but this is an exception. Where are we, by the way?"

"I brought you to the nineteenth floor. I guess that man won't be able to come up here in the state I left him." He smirked and his eyes glinted. Kagura's stomach twisted weirdly again. She incorporated, using her hands as support, and the room spinned around her.

"Ugh, Sadist, I don't... I don't feel good. How long have I been sleeping?"

"It's been two hours since I brought you here."

_'You've been here for two hours?'_

The room was already dark, so she decided he was telling the truth. Her heart beat faster. That good for nothing idiot had actually taken care of her. Happiness filled her. It wasn't being that bad of a night after all. The stupid man had paid them already, so she didn't need to worry about the money, she had got out of trouble and the Sadist was actually being nice.

She fixed her eyes on him. He was sitting, his back leaning on the wall and his stance relaxed. His sword was to the side, and he had taken off his scarf even though it was winter. She had to say the room was quite comfy. And hot. Too hot.

She thought then about how easy it would be to close the distance between them, sit on his lap and kiss him senseless. She had no experience in kissing matters and she didn't know where this thoughts were coming from, but for once, she didn't care. So she followed her suddenly awakened Yato instincts in a whim and did as her mind -or the most irrational part of it- was telling her.

When Sougo realised what was happening, she was already straddling him, her hands cupping both his cheeks and her lips pressing against his.

It was strange, kissing the man she had been in love with for so long. However, she didn't have much time to dwell on it. The kiss ended as soon as it had started when he grabbed both her shoulders and pushed her away, his glare severe and his hands cold against her.

"What the hell are you doing."

"I want to sleep with you." The statement was bold, she still had no idea where these thoughts were coming from and she said it so calmly she was surprised herself.

"Excuse you?" Sougo stared at her with disbelief, his eyes widening in surprise. At least, she had got something out of him besides the deadpanned look.

"I'm sure you've heard me the first time."

"You're drugged, brat." His glare intensified, and he made the attempt to put her in the floor, but she locked her arms around his neck and steadied her legs at his sides. Now he couldn't move, considering her Yato strength was on her side.

"Is that the only impediment?"

"Hell no!"

"Because if it is, I will let you know you don't have to worry about it." To prove her point, she punched the wall, her fist creating a whole inches away from his head.

Her strength had come back, and she was fully aware of her actions, but there was a feral and primitive _something_ in her gut telling her to fuck this man senseless. If she was still drugged, it had nothing to do with her consciousness and her awareness, and a lot to do with her sexual drive.

Any other day her cheeks would have grown warmer at the thought and she would have told herself to calm down, but maybe the remainings of the aphrodisiac were what she needed. The last push to do something about her feelings. After all, it would be a one night stand. Nothing more. Many of the girls she usually worked with had already slept with him. It was only natural for her to feel curious, both about him and about this whole sex thing, and maybe after that one night she would finally forget about him. After waking up alone the following day, her brain would finally process he was not a good idea. Then, after two weeks of enduring a broken heart, she would be fine again.

That's what she had told herself at the moment, but a little, tiny voice in a corner of her conscience told her things would go wrong if she kept going.

"I said I'm not sleeping with you."

Ignoring the last rational bit of her brain working coherently that told her this was not a good idea, she rolled her hips, eliciting a low growl from Sougo.

"China..." That was a warning.

"Why not? What's the difference between the other girls and me? I'm not drugged anymore, and I want to keep helping here. To achieve that, I need to _actually_ sleep with customers. If you're not _my_ first, I will look for another one. I was just giving you the chance to have free sex. You've spared me a rough night, and you've come here to fuck some random chick. So what's the problem? We'd both win something out of this."

Sougo kept staring at her, but something in his eyes had changed. Kagura observed him warily, wondering what was going through his mind at the moment. There was a time when they didn't need words to understand each other, before everything had gone wrong and before her feelings had gotten in the way. They had known what the other was thinking with just a glance, and they had helped each other more than once. Now, it was impossible for her to read the man in front of her.

Without a warning, and taking advantage of her sudden distraction, Okita turned them around, her back against the floor and her head knocking the wall. She covered the sore spot with her hands, a curse escaping her lips.

"What the hell, Sadist..." She lifted her gaze to make sure he knew he was in trouble, but her words caught in her throat and she gulped.

Okita was staring at her with eyes akin to those of the man who had tried to rape her not three hours ago, but he wasn't moving and something within her awakened.

"Let me get this straight." His voice had dropped a few notches. "This is your first time and you are fine with sleeping with me tonight."

Seeing her words weren't coming out yet, she nodded once.

"And you give me permission to do whatever I want to you."

Hearing that statement made some bells rang in her head.

"If you dare to hurt me in some sadistic way I swear to you won't make it out alive of this room."

He didn't answer her, but his eyes had become slits.

"And if you ever tell anyone, I will also kill you. This is a secret."

"If you don't want anyone to know, how are you supposed to keep helping here?"

"That's not your problem." She glared daggers at him. He was right. She just couldn't tell Tsukuyo she had slept with some random guy, but she would have time to think about it. As soon as her top priority changed from "fuck Sadist" to "think straight again".

"Fine. Are those the conditions?"

Kagura pondered the question for a moment.

"I guess so."

"Alright then."

Without giving her time to respond, he lowered his head to hers. This kiss was nothing like the previous one. She had had no idea what she was doing, and it had been so brief she hadn't really had time to enjoy it properly. This time, as soon as his skin met hers, her brain shut down and her heart skipped a beat. He started slowly, his lips tracing her own and moving against them. She kissed him back not long after, and he decided to take it step further biting her bottom lip. She sucked in a breath, and he broke the kiss, not before tugging at her lower lip.

She bit said lip, and Okita looked down at her.

"You are sure, right? I'm not going back after this."

Feeling a craving she had never felt before, and starting to get impatient, she grabbed a handful of sandy hair and tugged at it, effectively getting Sougo back to work again.

* * *

 

Not long after, she found herself panting on the floor. The first layers of her outfit laid open beneath her, the golden and red clothing contrasting with her now loosened orange hair. She was not familiar with the new sensations running through her body, but every single one of them had to do with the man currently eating her neck. Because the kissing had turned to licking, suckind and biting and her skin was on fire.

It hadn't been much trouble suppressing the sounds making their way up her throat before -her pride told her not to let him heard her cries-, but as soon as Sougo pecked a certain spot right above her left clavicle, she moaned out loud. He felt the man smirking against her skin, and she frowned. She was sure he was up to something now. Not wasting any time, said man bit her hard and she sucked in a breath.

_'What the hell?'_

Sougo was hell bent on getting something out of her from that spot and she knew he had what he wanted when her back arched out of reflex towards his. Her chest flattened against his, and he pushed her body against the floor. The temperature only got higher when he pressed his leg between hers, and she writhed beneath him, whimpering.

Something carnal and animalistic pulled at her senses and the next thing she knew, she was on top of a surprised Okita, her hands pulling at his uwagi and her lips craving his hardened skin. Her hands roamed his chest and his abdomen, the muscles flexing under her touch. She had not miss the scar adorning his right side, the one she had had the _luck_ to tend to some months ago. This time, however, her Yato instincts told her not to be gentle. At all.

Sougo squirmed under her touch, his features darkening and his eyes half-lidded. Something in her mind told her he was not used to be the one dominated.

"Brat, what are you-"

"Now." Her voice was hoarse.

"What?"

"I want you now."

"You are not even completely aroused. You want it to hurt that much? Are you suddenly an M?" His words weren't serious, but his eyes regarded her with wariness.

"Yatos don't need that kind of human thing." At his expectant glare she continued. "A race that is always killing needs quick ways to reproduce. What would you do if you were a Yato and I decided to kill you before fertilization? Foreplay, if ever done, is reserved for loving, married couples. So no, I'm not about to lose my time with you like that."

Something about her cold tone made her cringe, and the sadist must have sensed it too, because he was up in a second, carrying her on his arms towards the _futon_.

"Then lets end up this quickly."

He threw her on the cotton bed and lifted up her legs, his hands running down her almost white skin and coming close to her underwear. She gasped and he reached for her last piece of her kimono, tossing it aside and leaving her chest exposed. Her cheeks heated up, but she was not about to cover herself up now.

He regarded her for a seconds before speaking up.

"Protection."

"Uh? Oh. I-uh... I'm not even human, Housen never used it and I have yet to see little Yatos running around. We'll be fine without it."

"I'm not about to risk it and get you pregnant." He sighed impatiently.

"I said it's alright. Besides, won't it be more pleasurable for you that way? Stop complaining and hurry up."

"Don't come running to me in nine months, then."

That being said, he took off the remaining clothes he was wearing and giving Kagura no time no peek, he lowered his head to her bosom.

Her first reaction was to scream. Loud. She had never had someone fondle her like that and, the longer his mouth grazed her skin, the more she wanted. The caresses didn't last, though. He started to nibble her right breast more roughly, making her writhe under him while he used his hand to play with the left one. His other hand was busy making its way up and down her leg, getting closer to the baby blue lingerie she was sure wouldn't be there for much long.

"Sa-sadist- _oh god_." She gasped for air when he squeezed her mound rather hard. "I-I told you to h-hurry up."

He raised his head a bit to answer and she was tempted to grab and bury it again in her chest.

"The fact that you don't need foreplay doesn't mean I don't need it neither. Now shut up and let me enjoy."

His mouth returned to its previous place and, after some more minutes were Kagura thought she was in heaven and her body was ablaze, he scattered some kisses on his way up to her mouth again. After pecking her lips lightly, he looked at her straight in the eye. He was also panting, and his voice was so raspy and low she decided she couldn't wait no more. He spoke kind of soft to her, nonetheless.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then. I don't know about Yatos, but some girls say it hurts the first time. Don't blame me for it."

Kagura nodded her head, already aware of the oh so infamous rumours about the first time. Living in Yoshiwara had taught her all the theory she needed to know, more if it had to do with this time in particular. She wasn't scared, as she was more than able to endure some insignificant pain. It didn't stop her, however, from wrapping her arms around his neck, her face pressed against his shoulder as his hand returned to massage her breast. She whined. He used his other arm to support himself and, as she bit her lip and closed her eyes, he carefully thrusted into her.

It didn't hurt, though it was a bit tight. She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding and she tried to concentrate. The feeling was weird, to say the least. She wasn't used to have anyone inside her, and Sougo waited still for some moments to let her adjust a bit. Then, he started moving slowly. Quite slowly, to be honest. She didn't complain though, silently thanking him for letting her take her time and for being considerate for once. She bit her lip again as a new feeling in her low abdomen started to replace the odd one. It was different from anything she had experienced before and, if it kept growing, she was sure the kisses and the touching from before would be left to shame.

This new sensation made her heart skip a beat and her stomach flip. It soon turned to something pleasurable and, as Sougo kept incrementing the pace, she found herself needing more, rolling her hips to meet her thrusts. She was starting to understand why people liked sex so much.

Or maybe it had to do something with him?

It was a given fact that if you were in love with the person having sexual relations with you, it would be more than just enjoyable. However, and considering she was _absolutely not_ gonna open the door leading to her feelings, she tried to view as what it actually was for him- just sex.

It wasn't only how he moved inside her, but his hand playing with her breast and his mouth biting her ear and the way his body made hers fit perfectly. She was not thinking straight, so she decided to rely in her instincts, that up till now kept telling her how to move against him.

Not long after, the pressure inside her was almost unbearable.

"Faster." She tugged at his hair, and Okita growled and complied. For the first time since she had met him, she thanked all the gods above for his seemingly unlimited stamina. The title of god the girls had given him made suddenly much more sense.

Clasping her legs around his waist, she moved her hips one last time before feeling all the tension dissipate in waves of pleasure. She cried and closed her eyes, her hands entangling in his hair in an attempt to keep herself from falling limp on the _futon_ as he pounded inside her a few more times before suddenly stopping.

"China, let me-"

Instead of letting go of him, she somehow managed to tighten her hold on him, and he cursed. Too late.

He collapsed on the sheets, Kagura under him, but she was more focused on trying to even her breath again. Sougo was as breathless as her.

"What the actual fuck, you brat!" He was mad, but she didn't pay him any attention.

For the first time since she had woken up, her mind had cleared up completely.

_‘Oh god.’_

Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea.

* * *

 

Sougo regretted what he had done as soon as he lifted his head to look at her. For the first time since this now to be mess had started, he could see her eyes clearly. When she had woken up, and during the _physical activity_ they had just been engaged in, her eyes had been cloudy. He had concluded it had something to do with lust, maybe it was related to her clan heritage. But seeing her face now told him something different.

Forgetting his anger towards her, he saw himself reflected in shades of blue. Her cheeks were red and she was puffing hard. She was looking at him as if he was some kind of someone that shouldn't be there. She was scared. Even if her face didn't give it away, he knew those eyes. They were the eyes people had before he killed them, when they knew there was nothing else they could do and they were done for.

Nonetheless, what was she afraid of? The situation? Him? His outburst from before, while comprehensible and excusable, was not enough to deter her. It had never been.

Pushing the thoughts aside and putting his mind to work again, he tried to stand up as he looked for a way to lessen the suddenly found tension.

"Are you a koala?"

Kagura snapped back to reality, blinking a couple of times and looking down. She still had her arms around his neck and her legs were firmly holding his waist.

"Sorry." She disentangled herself from him, and he thought how out of place it was for her to apologize. Finally getting up, he made a beeline for the adjacent room, where a basin filled with water was surely waiting for him. There were two adjacent rooms for every principal one in the luxury floors, where they were actually in. One for the customer and the other for the courtesan. They were used for cleaning purposes. He needed to splash his face with water urgently.

When he finished about fifteen minutes later and donning a _kimono_ , he came back to the first room to get dressed. However, something made him stop dead in his tracks and he turned his head around to look at her.

She was fumbling with the sheets, covering herself with a sleeping robe as she tried to unfold another _futon_ on the floor. The sandy haired man was amazed she had been faster than him.

Sougo watched the Yato lie down and then she stopped as well to look at him.

Her expression was back to normal, and her eyes showed no emotion, but her hands were tightly gripping the hems of the comforter.

"I guess this is... mmm... the moment you leave?"

He would've clapped his hands at her _eloquence_ if this weren't the most awkward situation he had ever been in.

And she was right. This was the moment when he left without a second thought, no matter how begging the girls were or how warm their beds seemed. Add to that he wanted to flee this place as soon as possible because he was more than certain than it was what the alien girl wanted at the moment.

Still, when he was about to turn around and leave, and despite his number two rule -never stay the night- , a silver perm raced through his mind and he sighed to himself.

"Make room."

He made his way towards the girl and Kagura looked at him dumbfoundedly.

"What?"

"I'm sure you've heard me the first time." Using the same words that had left her mouth before, he crouched down. "C'mon, this _futon_ is big enough for the both of us."

Seeing that she was not moving on her own, he pushed her to the side, lying down with his back to her.

He didn't know why, but he did not have the heart to leave her alone. Not her. Not the girl he had seen grow beside him, as his one and only rival. Not the girl that had been so dead inside for the past three years. If he owed that lazy ass something, he was going to pay this way. Taking care of her in his own way. He couldn't undo what had happened the hour before, but he could try to amend it this way.

* * *

 Kagura couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at the back of the man next to her. Here he was, the cold sadistic bastard who would always leave after he was done, getting ready to sleep.

Her cheeks heated up again and she tried not to think about the things he had done to her in this same room. It brought her conflicting feelings, and she decided it was best if she went to sleep. She would have the rest of her life to decide why she had slept with Okita Sougo. And to regret it. She didn't need a good night sleep to know she would regret it.

So, lying down as well and trying to keep her body as far as possible from him, she closed her eyes and prayed for slumber to come and take her to a world where she hadn't screwed herself up.


	11. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again guys! Here I am with the new chapter. It's something more happier this time, cause I think we need a little break from the angst.
> 
> I also wanted to thanks mirazal for all the help with the grammar from the previous chapter :)
> 
> This being said, please enjoy! :D And your reviews are the best!

Kagura woke up to sore legs and a headache. Her head was throbbing and, as soon as she tried to get up, her stomach grumbled and she felt like throwing up. She buried her face in the pillow, moaning softly, her navel flat against the mattress.

What a way to start a day.

She heard some shuffling noises to her left and, as slowly as possible, she looked around just to lock her eyes in a broad back. A man with a sandy, long ponytail was getting dressed. And then, she remembered.

The previous night she had been about to be raped by a man who had drugged her, only to be saved by none other than Okita Sougo, who she had ended up sleeping with.

'Oh my god. What have I done.'

She tried to remain still, both for the sake of her body and her mental health. She was in no condition to argue with him right now. Lots of questions were piling up in her mind, but this was not the moment nor the place.

"I'm leaving now."

"S-sure." Her voice was raspy and muffled by the pillow, and she swallowed in an attempt to hydrate her throat. "If you tell anyone about this-"

"I know, you'll kill me."

* * *

 A little later after he had left, she found the strength to sit up. Her head was still spinning, but at least her stomach had stopped twisting. She looked around, searching for something to drink and was glad when she spotted a bottle placed in a table.

With wobbling legs, she made her way to the corner where the table was placed and tasted the bottle's content. She was glad it was water, and she gulped it down. The liquid felt like medicine, and she damned the drug and its strong effects.

When she made sure she wasn't gonna throw up, she made a beeline for the _futon_ and lied down again.

The following moments of silence were enough to send her head into a state of chaos.

_'Oh gods, what have I done? What the hell was I thinking about yesterday? I have sleep with Okita! Good way to keep your feelings at bay, Kagura. Go ahead and have sex with the guy you're in love with. Yes, moron. In love. I'm fucking in love with him. What's the point in denying it any longer?_

_Oh, yes. That's not all. I still have to talk with Tsukuyo and tell her that I couldn't keep the deal because that fucking asshole almost raped me. Good thing he had already paid. If he ever comes back to protest I'll make sure he can't enjoy a place like Yoshiwara again.'_

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the door sliding, nor the worried face of a blonde beauty hovering over her. Only when Tsukuyo softly shaked her shoulder did she came to her senses again.

Kagura jolted upright, and Tsukuyo watched her face twist in pain. Hinowa was in her wheelchair next to her, and the other courtesan helped her down as the young Yato leaned down for the third time that morning.

"Gods, Kagura, you look awful. What happened yesterday? Did something go wrong? We were worried sick when we found the room you're supposed to be in empty."

"I'm sorry I worried you, but that man drugged me."

"He what?"

"He drugged me with some kind of aphrodisiac made for Yatos, so I lost my strength. But I'm fine now. More or less. Okita found me and beat the crap out of that guy. He brought me here last night and... mmmh... put me to sleep." Now that was the lamest excuse she could've come up with.

"Okita found you?" Hinowa looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Yes. He's always around."

"And he fought with our customer?"

"Well, it was that or my physic and mental health."

"Gods, Kagura, of course. I wasn't criticising him, I'll thank him the next time I see him. It's just that, given your relationship, I wouldn't have thought... Well, you used to get along. Kind of. Isn't that right, Tsukuyo?"

When the woman gave no signs of having heard the question, both Hinowa and Kagura turned their heads to her, only to find her face full of rage.

"That bastard..." She made an attempt to stand up, but Kagura grabbed her arm to make her stay.

"It's alright, Tsukki, really. In the end he didn't touch me, and trust the sadist to make him regret it if he ever dares to come back. I think it'll be enough if you tell the _Hyakka_ to keep an eye on him."

"But-"

"I think Kagura-chan doesn't want to dwell on it too much. We should be grateful he payed beforehand. It'll make him think twice before doing such a thing again." Hinowa smiled at Kagura softly, and the redhead returned the gesture.

Tsukuyo shook her head, clearly not done, but she said nothing else about the man.

"I guess we're closing the topic about you sleeping with customers, then?"

Kagura bit her lip, knowing that after what had happened the night before there was no way in hell Tsukuyo would agree ever again to let her help with the business.

"Guess I don't have another choice as long as I'm staying here under your roof."

"Don't say it like that, you know I'm only looking after you. Which is not easy, considering you're a Yato. A beautiful one, to put it simply. It's quite hard to keep creeps away from you."

Any other day Kagura would have said she was able to take care of herself, but that morning was not the most appropriate moment.

"I know, and I'm sorry for the trouble."

A little tense moment followed then. She was not used to have arguments with Tsukuyo, and her head was still in a daze.

"Well, I guess we should tell her she has a visitor?"

Hinowa always knew how to alleviate rough situations, and Kagura's interest was picked. There was only one person who visited her there. She made sure to go out of Yoshiwara to visit Otae, Otose and the others back in the surface, as she didn't want to trouble them. But this someone was far more safe in a prostitutes' house than in the streets of Edo.

"You should go take a hot, long bath to get rid of whichever the after effects of that drug may be. I'll call one of the girls to help you. Have fun and don't think about what happened anymore, okay?"

_'I'll try.'_

Tsukuyo helped her to her wheelchair and, before they left the room, she kneeled down beside her futon to give her a hug.

"I'm also sorry for what happened, Kagura. I'm just trying to keep you safe and I won't let something like this happen ever again."

Hugging her back, she smiled.

"I know."

* * *

 When the _fusuma_ opened, Kagura threw herself in the arms of Soyo. The princess had the best timing ever. For everything.

"K-Kagura-chan." She relieved in her friend's voice. "I-I can't breathe."

"I'm so glad you're here." She ignored the girl's struggles to break free of her hold, tightening her arms around her. "You couldn't have chosen a better moment."

Finally releasing her, Kagura looked at her, the brightest of the smiles on her face.

"Well, you know I can't exactly choose when to visit you. I would come here everyday if I had a choice."

Kagura's expression darkened.

Soyo was the former princess of the country. After everything they had gone through together, his brother, the _Shōgun_ , had been killed and she had been left with no option but to hide. This had meant she was no longer able to visit her at the castle, nor could she meet with her on the streets on a sunny day.

She had fled Edo and her whereabouts were a mystery to everyone except for the people taking care of her. She had stated, however, that if she couldn't visit Kagura from time to time, she would hand herself over to the enemy soldiers looking for her all around the country.

In the end, she had made a deal with her caretakers. She would drop by Edo every few months with no previous warning, and pray for Kagura to be around.

Since Gin's death, they had only seen each other six times in four years, so it was always a blessing whenever Hinowa or Tsukuyo told her someone was visiting her. Right now, she was the person she needed the most, as she was the only one aware of her affections for the sadist.

It had taken Soyo one night, in which Okita had also happened to be in the building, to find about her friend's blooming feelings towards the former police officer.

He had drop by her room, where they had been at that moment, to pay his respects. He had been, after all, one of the officers in charge of her well being before her brother's demise, so both the girls knew they could trust him.

After his exit, Soyo had come face to face with a flustered and agitated Kagura. The reason wasn't too difficult to guess. Okita being there meant he was ready to spend the evening with a girl, and the brunette only had one explanation for Kagura's behavior regarding the topic which also matched her red face.

She asked her about it the following morning -when she decided it was safe enough and she wouldn't get accidentally hit by a very upset Yato- and Kagura found herself telling her everything about it.

This time, however, she didn't need any kind of incentive to spill the beans.

"I slept with Okita yesterday."

The surprise in Soyo's face didn't catch her off guard. Eyes as big as saucers, dropped jaw. She was expecting nothing less.

"You what?"

"I slept with Okita yesterday."

"Kagura, what on earth-"

"I know." A pause. "I know. I just- I don't know what I was thinking about. Lots of things happened last night and it seems my head decided somewhere along the way the best way to get through it was having... sex... with him." She waited for Soyo to show something apart from shock.

"O- oh. Okay. Fine. Let's... uh... Let's sit. Yes. Come here and sit with me." Following her lead, Kagura leaned on the wall, dropping down next to her friend and gripping the hems of her kimono.

_'When have I become an anxious, troubled girl.'_

"Well, I think you have some explanation to do?"

* * *

 About half an hour later, Kagura was expectantly waiting for her friend to process all the information.

"Holy cow, Kagura-chan! You sure had a wild night yesterday! Did yo- Ouch! That hurts!"

"This is serious!"

"Fine, fine, I'll let the teasing for later. But seriously, what was going through that skull of yours? Has all that sukonbu turned it into seaweed?"

Puffing, Kagura tried to look for a reasonable explanation.

She came out with nothing. All the reasons she had had the night before now seemed pointless.

"I would say it was because of the drug but, given the fact that my strength had come back, I'm pretty sure it had already wore out. I swear I was just so dizzy when I woke up and then I just wanted him all. The worst is that I feel guilty! I had promised Tsukki I would only sleep with that bastard for the money but I ended up sleeping with the sadist! Dammit!"

After a pause, Soyo looked at her.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up for this. You were lucky enough that man didn't touch you in the end. As for Okita-san, it was something you chose. You're old enough to decide for yourself. If you had slept with him in exchange for money, Tsukuyo-san would have a say in the matter. However, you decided to do it because you wanted. Nothing Yoshiwara related."

"I'm not sure I wanted..."

"Well, that's another topic. Now that I hope that you don't feel guilty anymore, try to look at it from this perspective- you've been with Okita-san! Gods, Kagura-chan, you're so lucky! Is he as good as girls say?"

Kagura's face softened a little, cheering up at her friend's attempts to make her happy.

"Mmmh... It's not like I have something to compare it to... And there's also this voice in my head telling me I'm stupid and-"

"You're not answering my question and I swear I'm not moving until you do so."

"Okay, okay. Fine." She finally cracked cracked a smile, and Soyo smiled knowingly. "It was good. Pretty good." A nudge in the ribs and a snort. "Gods, Soyo. Apart from it being a first and a bit awkward, yes, he was amazing."

"I knew it! Hell yes! I mean, you just have to look at him! He's so lean and I bet his abs were rock hard and-"

"Soyo shut up! You're screaming way too mu-"

"-his arms are so strong and OH MY GOD-"

"I'm oh so gonna beat yo-"

"Did he kiss you?"

Trust Soyo to leave her a speechless and flustered mess.

"What do you think?"

"Oh gods, he did!" With this final statement, the princess tackled her to the ground in a fit of laughter.

"Ow, ow, ow! Soyo, stop!" Kagura was trying her best not to laugh, but her legs were still sore. "I'm hurting all over and you're making it worse!"

The brunette was now crying hysterically on the floor, her tears spilling in the tatami.

"So he's rough in bed matters and also-"

" _Don't._ "

"You're so funny! Oh gods, you should see your face right now!"

"Just wait because the moment you fall in love I'll make sure to go and tell him or her or whoever personally! I'll have no mercy!"

* * *

 That night, when they were both in their respective _futons_ getting ready to sleep, Kagura decided that she couldn't be more grateful with the princess. She had made her see what had happened in a different light, and she felt relieved. It wasn't so bad, after all. Not for the time being.

"Soyo?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really happy this time you can stay the night. I'll miss you."

"I am, too, though now I know if you feel lonely, you can always look for Okita-san!"

"That's it. You won't see another sunrise!"

Preparing for the kicks and laughs that were about to come, both girls forgot about the world they were living in and enjoyed the fact that some nights weren't as lonely as others.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just moved to Madrid to start university, so I don't know how often I will be able to update.
> 
> Be patient with me
> 
> Besos desde España!


	12. Deal

Kagura had been at Otose's the second time it happened. It had been a month since the last time she visited, and she had never enough of the old lady and her employees, even if she wasn't about to admit it. She missed them, and she wished she was still living upstairs.  
  
Madao was usually there, fighting with Catherine and trying not to get face-washed by a still human like Tama. She had fun there, and she was glad Otose was not closing anytime soon.   
  
Sacchan also visited, sometimes with Zenzou, other times alone. She was still the same, even though it had already been more than three years. She was glad some things hadn't changed. It somehow helped her to cope with how things had turned out.   
  
That night she had realised the time only when the clock had struck one in the morning. She had been drinking and chatting with the girls, as they had wanted to celebrate her birthday, and she had lost track of time. It had been long since she had had fun with them. However, it was getting late and she decided it was time to go home, standing up to say goodbye. She had enjoyed herself, and she left the local with a satisfied smile.   
  
Not long after, she found herself walking down one of the streets that lead to Yoshiwara. The night was cold, and the wind was making her mad. She was about to tie her hair to stop it from blocking her vision when she caught a glimpse of eyes looking at her. She would have recognised them anywhere, and she stopped dead in her tracks as her heart pounded hard in her ribcage.   
  
He was standing a few meters away, staring at her intensely and, after a bit, he turned around a corner. Against what she had told herself the last time, she picked up her pace to catch up with him. It had been a few weeks since that night, and she still got red faced whenever she thought about it. It didn't stop her, nonetheless, from turning the corner as well.   
  
She realised she was in an alley and the next thing she knew, she was pinned against a wall.   
  
Red eyes met her gaze, and she held her breath. This was not happening, not again.   
  
He was studying her, she was so used to that thanks to their old fights that she didn't need to ask him about it. One of his hands was gripping her shoulder, keeping her in place, and she pondered why she wasn't pushing him away. She guessed it had to with the way her body was heating up.   
  
_'Oh, no.'_   
  
His other hand was resting in the wall beside her head, inches away from her face. She kept quiet, tense under his gaze and wondering what was going through his mind. After a bit, his eyes dropped to her lips and she exhaled unintentionally, her eyes closing as his palm came to cup her cheek.   
  
She welcomed his lips with ease, remembering the way they had moved against her own not too long ago, and grabbing his scarf to bring him close. She put away the fact that they were in the street about to do some indecent things. At least, the zone was not very lively at such hour.   
  
His hand, previously at her shoulder, traveled down to find her chest, and when he squeezed she bit her lip to keep from moaning. She opened his _uwagi_ with her hands, exposing his toned body. The Yato roamed his chest and stomach, her fingers tracing the lines of his flexing muscles.   
  
"Open your mouth, China."   
  
As much as she would have liked to do so, she was still trying to keep her voice low, so he forced her lips open lifting her up and making her gasp. He kissed her hard and her legs closed out of reflex around his waist. Okita moved his hands to the slits of her _kimono_ , grabbing her thighs and caressing them all the way up to her underwear. She cursed herself for wearing stocks that prevented him from directly touching her skin, but she forgot about it as soon as he made an attempt to remove her panties.   
  
"You can't-"   
  
"I know. Let go of me for a moment."   
  
The way he commanded her, husky voice filling her ears, made her drop her legs to the ground in a daze. The young Yato took her lingerie away on her own, hoisting herself up and putting her legs around him again as soon as he finished unknotting his _hakama_ and underwear.   
  
Kissing him again and entangling her hands in his hair, she felt him entering her. This time he wasn't considerate. She rested her back on the wall as he pressed their bodies together, groaning when her breasts touched his chest. He was hot, and she appreciated his warmth in the cold night.   
  
He didn't waste a second to start moving, and Kagura tightened her hold on him. If she weren't a Yato, she was sure her trembling legs would have ended giving away and she would have dragged them down to the ground. But given the fact that she was one indeed, and that she was more than able to support her own weight -for now-, she closed her eyes to reveal in the pleasing feeling expanding through her body.   
  
Not long after, they were both panting, sweat running down their faces. He had rested his head on her shoulder, and Kagura lowered her legs again, her arms still embracing him.   
  
"Leave first."   
  
"Uh?"   
  
"Leave first, I need to catch my breath." Giving her no time to tease him about it, he talked again. "It's not that easy to fuck when you have to keep your balance and holding someone at the same time."   
  
Kagura furrowed her brow, suddenly reminded that they were in the middle of the street and that, to him, this was just laid.   
  
Without a word, she separated herself from him, looking at him in eyes briefly before grabbing her panties and living hurriedly.

* * *

She hurried through the hallways, knowing that he was there and that she didn't have much time.   
  
The events from the night she had visited Otose's were still vivid in her mind, and she had made a decision. The first thing that had come to her mind after their encounter had been her conversations with the girls that had had the privilege to sleep with him. If one thing was true about Okita Sougo, it was that he never slept twice with the same person. She hadn't given any importance to the night he had stayed with her, but this was another thing altogether. He had broken two of his rules.  With her.   
  
Somehow, that had encouraged her to do what she was about to do. If she was known for one thing, it would be her straightforwardness.   
  
Picking up her _kimono_ to quicken her pace, she ignored the groups of girls whispering and giggling at the corners. She couldn't understand it. No matter how much time she had spent living in Yoshiwara, she would never get used to the attention that idiot received. As soon as he set a foot there, chaos ensued. She just couldn't understand it.

The streets were filled with people, but the building was crowded to its limits. Good thing she had a sixth sense to find him. She blamed it on Gintoki and the way the Yorozuya always ended up involved with the Shinsengumi and, well, on the fact that she was kind of in love with him.

_'It's not like my senses are biased to find you, uh uh.'_

When she spotted him a hundred meters away, his usual red _uwagi_ and ponytail giving him away, she didn't waste a second to approach him. Kagura grabbed his scarf, an apologetic smile on her face directed towards a bunch of courtesans that were surrounding him.

"Sorry girls, but this jerk owes me some explanations."

* * *

It was common knowledge for everyone that knew them that their relationship wasn't exactly conventional. They had known each other from before and, as much as they didn't like it, Kagura had _carte blanche_ when it came to the former police officer. That meant that if she decided she wanted to beat the hell out of him some night, their protests would do nothing to stop her. She knew how to handle him- or so they thought. It was not often, as the Yato preferred to stay away from him, though when she demanded his attention, he was more than ready to respond.

On the other hand, if he wasn't too tired after it, he didn't mind doing some dirty things to one of them.

That's the reason why no one among Kagura's co workers said a thing when she dragged him down the hallway. They would have to wait, pouts on their faces.

* * *

Kagura dropped him on the floor unceremoniously, slamming the _fusuma_ after her. He cursed inwardly when his head hit the _tatami_ , but he didn't have time to react as the girl straddled him.

"What the fuck, China. First you choke me and now yo-"

"Shut up."

The room was dark -leave it to her to make this more suspicious than it already was- and he couldn't see her face clearly.

_'What the hell is she planning now?'_

He was still confused with everything related to their two last meetings, and he still had to come to terms with the fact that he had slept with Kagura. The former Yorozuya girl. The 14 years old girl he had met years ago. _China_. Twice.

And he had enjoyed it more than he was willing to admit.

She was biting her lip, that much he could tell, but he waited for her to talk first. He had nothing to say to her, after all.

"I'm making a deal with you."

Her sentence picked up his interest, though he couldn't help but retort.

"More like you're _demanding_ to make a deal with me."

"Will you shut up and listen to me?"

He sighed in annoyance but lifted his brows to let her know he was listening, nonetheless.

"I don't know why, but you accepted to sleep with me that night here in Yoshiwara and, after that, you proceeded to, and I quote, fuck me in that street." She made a little pause, and then she continued. "I know you don't sleep twice with the same person, though you've broken that rule of yours."

_'Where is she going with all this?'_

"I want you to sleep with me from today onwards."

Oh, no. No, no, _no_. Not in a million years. He hadn't made up those rules up for her to come and obliterate them out of a whim.

The reason was simple- he wasn't getting attached to anyone anytime soon.

The last thing he wanted was to fall in love with a girl that could easily die. In the Red Lights District, fights were not uncommon and, even with the _Hyakka_ , courtesans died from time to time. Add to that the always present White Plague. The risks were only bigger. Sleeping with a girl very often could mean feelings getting in the way at some point. So yes, there were plausible candidates everywhere but no, he wasn't prepared for that.

He was tired of losing everything that mattered to him. First his parents, though he couldn't remember them, then his sister, Kondo along with the Shinsengumi and, as much as he tried not to dwell too much on this, the boss along with the Yorozuya and that stupid and strange feeling of happiness that surrounded them. He wasn't going through that again.

Besides, this was China they were talking about here, for God's sake.

"Sorry, China, but I'm not interested. Not a bit." He tried to sound cold, not that difficult for him considering how distant he was with everyone.

He made an attempt to get up, but she didn't move an inch.

He wondered why she was suddenly so insistent.

"You haven't heard the whole thing yet, and I won't take a no for an answer."

His eyes became slits.

"I said n-"

She proceeded to shut him up with a kiss. A very rough one.

_'You're not messing with my head again, China.'_

He closed his lips, ignoring his stomach twisting and turning his face to the side.

Wrong move.

Her mouth was in his ear now, and she purred softly.

"The fact that you decided to sleep with me _twice_ must mean something, Sadist." He had never heard her voice sound so enticing. "This is my offer- casual sex, no feelings in the way and we both get to enjoy ourselves. And don't you dare to deny the fact that you enjoyed sleeping with me because we both know you did."

"You do realise the extent of what you're saying?"

She raised herself up, her hands coming to rest on his still clothed torso.

"I'm not stupid. What would you be losing, anyways?"

"Now _you_ listen to me, China. Even if I were to say yes, there are too many _what ifs_ you wouldn't like. What if they discover us? Because you made it clear you'd kill me if I ever told someone something. What if you fall in love with me? Let's be honest, it wouldn't be that strange. Isn't it your father the one that says that sometimes love starts in a bed? What if-"

"No one has to discover this if you don't mess up and I can assure you I _won't_ fall in love with you. You could say I'm immune to you. I've seen almost everything about you and there's no a single thing I like about you, much less love. That being said, I still think we both could get something out of this. And you'd stop breaking girls hearts in the process."

"What I decide to break or not has nothing to do with you." He studied her face. This time, his eyes had accommodated to the dim light filtering through the window, and her blue ones were shining strangely.

She was being insistent as hell, and she was starting to convince him. It was true. He would get something out of this, apart from the sex -that was already promising-. China knew how to move, that much he had learnt after years of fighting with her. He would also save himself up the hassle of having to find a different girl every time that met his standards. And he hadn't fallen in love with her as of today.

Out of all the things her young, tomboyish and boisterous self could have become, she had ended up a healthy, beautiful and young lady. She had a body to envy, and he had first hand information when it came to her assets. Her personality had changed, too, though he wasn't sure if it had been for the better. She was calm now, more collected and quiet. At what price, although? He knew she was often sad, and her lively eyes had stopped meeting his only to be replaced by hollow, cloudy ones. There was no happiness left in them anymore.

He hadn't fall for her looks neither -he wasn't that much of a jerk, mind you-, but he was sure as hell he wouldn't fall for a depressed shell of what she used to be. Because he wasn't made for fragile things and because he didn't have the time for it.

"Are you done trying to find excuses yet?"

He sighed again. He was tired of thinking, his hands were _itching_ to touch that milky skin of hers and she had a point. Or at least, that was what his head was telling him at the moment.

"Gods, Sadist. I'm offering you free sex -another advantage I forgot to mention- in exchange of keeping your mouth shut. You can add rules whenever you want, like me. No feelings in the way, whenever we feel like it. I don't have to follow the rules the other girls do. You could come here at noon if you were bored and have some fun. Normal courtesans would be punished, but I won't be working as one. I'm doing this out of my own free will."

For emphasis, she used her hands to open his clothes, running them all the way up from his waist to his neck. They were hot, and he shuddered.

"See? Your body knows what it wants."

While it was true that it was a  natural reaction, what this girl did to him was out of the ordinary. He should be enraged at the thought of someone playing with him like this. But he had yet to move her from where she was.

"You're saying" he lifted his hands to her hips "that you won't be a burden to me."

"Yes, I refuse to be on your debt."

* * *

She had thought this would be a good idea. She hadn't had a good night of sleep since her birthday. She had already slept with him twice so, where was the bad in doing it more often? She could always get out if she couldn't stand it but, right now, she just wanted his hands on her body and his lips on hers. He was addicting.

"Fine, then."

"Uh?"

She blinked twice, her eyes focusing on his red ones as she processed his answer. Had he just accepted?

He turned them around to confirm her thoughts, and he opened her _kimono_.

"Let's say we're starting now. You said I could choose the time, and I haven't come to Yoshiwara to talk about the weather."

_'So easy! I can't believe this has been so easy!'_

She closed her in eyes in happiness, her body already reacting to his actions and her hands looking for his head as he grazed her body. She pulled him in for a kiss, and he nibbled her lower lip making her moan.

"You're quite the loud one, China."

"It's your fault, not mine." She hummed in response, bringing him close.

"I guess I will have to make you quiet, since we don't want anyone finding out our secret."

She looked up at him, curiosity all over her face, and she wondered what he was planning.

"You're not gagging me."

"Who says I need a gag when I have a mouth? Kisses are a good way to turn someone on, and you will be occupied responding to them."

She didn't have anything to object, so she let him shut her up. At least for now, she would have to conform with this. Not that she was complaining as this was more than what she had ever dreamed of. If she were ever asked to firm a contract where Okita Sougo was willing to kiss her whole over and over again, she wouldn't have a doubt to sign it as many times as necessary.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm begging you, please tell me any kind of grammar mistakes or typos, I want to improve my Enlgish and I swear I won't bite!


	13. Future

Hello everyone! Please leave comments because they make my day and motivate me to keep writing!

* * *

 

It has become a necessity. It's not about pleasure or about being in love anymore, it's because she really _needs_ him.

That much she knows when he kisses her goodnight after having been one with her, when she cuddles in his arms after a long day or when wakes up every morning that he's by her side and she feels like she's the luckiest girl.

Truth be told, the last thing she would have dreamed of would have been waking up beside him. The sadist boy she once met, the brat who she couldn't stand and who got on her nerves on a daily basis, but also the boy who had saved her so many times had made his way into her heart, and it seemed like he wasn't going away anytime soon.

* * *

 

That day was one of those mornings. It was unusual for her to wake up first, as she loved to stay on bed until noon or, given her sleeping schedule in Yoshiwara, late evening. He was usually the first up, whether he was used to it due to his old days working for the Shinsengumi or because he just liked it that way. She didn't really know.

Yawning, Kagura raised her face, previously buried in the pillow. The sunlight that filtered through the window wasn't bright enough to bother her, so she guessed it had to be quite early in the morning. Exhaling softly, she turned her head to her left and rested it on her arms, taking a few moments to look at Sougo, sleeping peacefully beside her.

Watching him, specially like that, always made her heart skip a beat and her chest fill with warmth. For once, he was quiet and still, allowing her to take in his features. His long hair, once short and tidy, was now completely sprawled on the _futon_ ; she had to admit it had been strange at first, getting used to it, but it had ended up becoming another thing she loved about him. Just like his big, calloused and skilled hands. His chest, rising and falling in compass with his breath, his partially opened mouth, his softened expression, and the now hidden red eyes that were able to hold a range of emotions she knew would never be enough for her.

Seeing him made her wonder what on earth had she done to end up in this situation. Her fourteen years old self would have cringed at the thought of i; of that, she was sure. What had changed, though? What had made her fall for him in the first place?

She remembered the months before Gin had disappeared. She had started to realise things were starting to be awkward whenever he was near. She hadn't thought much about it, as she hadn't really been worried nor interested in those kind of things, and she had acted as if nothing was happening.

After that, everything had been a turmoil when she had received the news. She had been a mess and she hadn't spared the police officer a second thought. Some time after she had moved to Yoshiwara, and she had stayed there under the watch of Tsukuyo.

Then, she had seen him there for the first time, provoking her forgotten feelings to come back at once. And, to her mortification, stronger than before. She had blamed it on the fact that there was only one reason for his visit to the Red Lights District and that she was exposed to all kinds of romantic dramas, making her more sensible to the topic. She wasn't happy about it. Not at all.

Yatos had never coped well with things taken away from them.

And the first time that thought crossed her mind she knew she was done for.

Something had definitely changed, and there was no point in denying it any longer.

She had kept away from him, giving him the cold shoulder whenever he was around, nevermind the fact that he came looking for her sometimes in order to have one of their old sparring sessions. When he was too insistent, she ended up sending him flying through the _shoji_ doors, away from her. She wanted him far, far away. She wanted nothing to do with him and, yet, he had gotten under her skin more than she was willing to admit.

Why?

There was this little, tiny part of her reminding her of things he had done and words he had said.

_I'm the only one allowed to beat that brat._

That had been the first time he had shown any kind of _concern_ towards her. She hated his guts back then, more or less, and she had been surprised. He was nothing like he presented himself to be. He was a sadist, a ruthless killer without a heart who didn't care what he had to do in order to get what he wanted. Or that was what people who didn't know him would have said. That was what she would have said, and what she sometimes wanted to believe.

_This one... This girl here... Won't be dying until she and I, settle a goal._

Trust him to see right through her.

_In this world, there are things you have to protect even if your hands get stained with blood._

However, that sentence had struck a chord within her. She had it embedded in her mind. He had hit so close to her heart she had been left speechless.

She, a Yato fighting against her own blood, knew better than anyone else what it meant to protect something without getting their hands dirty. That's what she wanted. She didn't want to give in to her bloodlust, because she was not a killer. Yet there he was, pretending not to care about those things and killing people for a living. And still, that time he had make sure no one laid a hand on her nor in Kirie, and he had made sure they didn't have to fight. He had kept them clean.

She hadn't thought much about it at the time, as she had been more worried about other things, like making it out alive, but reflecting upon it had made her realise he had protected her in exchange of his hands being the ones getting dirty with the blood of others.

He hadn't had a second thought about grabbing her mid fall that day on the cliffs, when she had recklessly tried to attack the archers. He had thrown his own security out of the window in order to keep her safe. She still had no words to describe her feelings back then, nor did she had words to explain his behaviour.

Those little and not so little things had made the difference for her.

Moving her hand to grab some strands of his hair, she buried her nose in them, revelling in his scent and wondering how many women had had the pleasure to do the same. She was past the stage of jealousy that had made her sleep so little during her first years in Yoshiwara. After they started sleeping together, she would often find herself thinking about it. Was he still sleeping with more courtesans, or did he had enough with her? It had made her uncomfortable, but she was now almost sure he wasn't seeing anyone else. Not that she could do anything about it, as they were free to do whatever they liked with their lives.

Freeing his hair, she angled her head again to look at him again, his partially open mouth making her wet her lips and bit them afterwards. She was so, so doomed. During morning like this, _silly mornings_ like she called them –because she was completely silly–, she also thought about the future. Not everything in her life was tied to the past. And being in love inevitably led to dreaming.

Dreaming about _what if_. What if the White Plague didn't exist and Gin was still alive? What would have been of her then? Would have she fallen in love? Probably yes, considering she had started to feel something some time before the disappearance of his Earth dad, but she was almost sure things would have been _a lot_ different between them. She would have spared herself the depression, too.

But this path took her anywhere, as she could do nothing about it anymore. So what about a future in her current life? The one where the Yorozuya was no longer and she was pretending she was fine with sleeping with Okita Sougo. The first thing that came to her mind was family, and kids. The one thing she had lost so long ago and that she was more than willing to create again.

However, that wasn't a good train of thought, neither. She knew no one would do if it wasn't the man sleeping next to her. And even he ever accepted her like that, it wasn't like they could have kids. She was a Yato, after all. And he was a human. They were not meant to be together in the first place.

This pained her so much she tried not to think about it too much. The only thing she had set her mind to do was to create a family. Ever since her mom died and her father and brother left her, she had decided she would form a new one of her own. She wanted to give her children what she would be never able to get back again.

The Yorozuya had came along not long after and, for some time, she had been able to be happy again.

Now that it was gone, too, she had found herself thinking about Okita as a father.

_'Damn it, Kagura, not again. Some things are not meant to happen. Stop. I'm really turning into a masochist. What the hell.'_

Shaking her head, she looked for another thing to think about and, seeing his lips for the nth time she ended up kissing him. Softly, just a brush of her mouth against his own.

He moved a little, but he didn't wake up. So she continued her ministrations. Little kisses, scattered here and there. The chin, the jaw, the cheeks, the corner of his mouth again, his nose. He was usually within seconds when someone got close, but he had stopped doing so with her a long time ago. She'd be able to beat anyone, that's what he said.

She went further down, to his neck and collarbone, and he stirred a bit.

"What are you doing, China?" His voice was raspy, and it was barely above a  whisper.

"I'm disturbing your sleep, so when someone attacks you, you won't be able to concentrate and defend yourself. You won't know who killed you."

"Is that so?" He moved an arm to cover his eyes, though she knew he had them closed.

"Yup!"

"If you think that's gonna be effective you can keep dreaming. Why don't you go back to sleep, indeed?"

"I'm not sleepy." She had her chest pressed against his by now, and he sighed.

"I'm tired."

"I know you are, who do you think I am?"

"You're a really obnoxious amanto trying to seduce a poor policeman. Didn't you have enough with last night?"

 _'It's never enough with you.'_ She bit her tongue, instead.

"You're not a policeman anymore. And no, I didn't. I had thought your stamina was better." She kissed his shoulder, biting and sucking right after.

"My stamina is completely fine, I'll let you know that. It's not my fault you drag me here almost every damn night. We males have it more difficult to recover, you know."

"Yet you never complain when I get undressed."

"Why would I? God, China, stop moving already and go back to sleep!" To prove his point, he grabbed her with one hand, lowering her body to the mattress and securing it with his arm around her waist. She clicked her tongue.

"You're a spoilsport."

"Will you, for the love of God, shut up if I touch you?"

"Maybe."

Getting ready for the action, she found herself at a loss for words when he squeezed her frame between his arms, one of his hands resting in the small of her back and rubbing circles on it.

"Sadist, wha–"

"Be quiet and relax."

"But–"

"I'm _touching_ you. Just enjoy, okay?"

She frowned, but let him be nonetheless. After a while, she relaxed like he had told her to. It was actually quite calming and, not long after, she was slumbering. It was soothing, and she liked the change. However, it was still not enough. He was currently racing his hand up and down her thigh.

"Is that all...?"

"Yes, it is. Now go to sleep."

Resigning herself and seeing she was getting nowhere with her pleas-like-demands, she actually closed her eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

 

She woke up to a tingling sensation in her neck not long after.

"Sadist?" He had buried his face in her neck and he was biting it. "What on Earth–"

"I can't sleep anymore because of you, you spoiled brat." Another bite.

"What nonsense are you– _fuck Sadist_ "

"So eager, aren't we?"

She looked away, a frown on her face as she tried not to be affected by him.

_'Sure, Kagura. Easier said than done.'_

She cursed inwardly as he traced a straight line from her neck to her navel with his mouth, scattering pecks in her clavicle and in the valley of her breaths. She kept her mouth shut and her eyes defiant in an attempt to let him know that she was not gonna cooperate. Not now.

But when he passed her belly button and went down south, alarm bells rang in her head.

Without a warning, he raised both her legs and placed the back of her knees on his shoulders as she gasped. She propped herself up out of reflex, her elbows supporting her as she looked surprised at him.

"Okita what are you–"

_'Oh god.'_

She felt her face burn as he looked at her with his mouth already opened.

"You said you wanted me to _touch_ you, right? Well, that's what I'm going to do." And letting her no time to reply, he went down on her.

The young Yato resisted the urge to scream shutting her mouth when his lips connected with her sensitive skin. Her hands gripped the sheets on her sides out of _necessity_ because she was _absolutely not grabbing his hair_.

This was the first time he was doing this –even though they had been sleeping for more than a year now– and that meant it was also her first time. She had been the one to say she didn't need any kind of foreplay and they had started everything as quick sex, so it wasn't like they had had time. He had never suggested it either, so she had let it be.

Now she could say she had been missing _something_.

Falling back towards the futon, she used her hands to cover her mouth, still refusing to let a cry out even though she couldn't control some muffled sounds from leaving her lips. Her legs were moving on their own, her toes curling and her knees shaking.

He used his arms to lift her of the mattress and this time she moaned when he reached deeper.

"S– Sadist, s–s–stop..."

He shook his head no, tickling her inner thighs with his bangs and making her hiss.

"I s–said st– _Gods_!"

 _'You cunning fox, I swear I'll–_ Holy _–'_

Her thoughts stopped being coherent as she felt her tensed body reach her tipping point, feeling herself orgasm rather hard has her hips raised and her back arched.

She fell limp on the sheets, ragged breaths leaving her mouth and eyes unfocused. Okita hovered above her, a sly grin on his face.

"Satisfied yet? Because I'm not. Take responsibility for your stubbornness."

Lowering his head, he kissed her, leaving a weird but not completely unpleasant taste on her mouth. She brought her hands to his hair, entangling her fingers on it and bending her legs. She pressed them to his body to keep him in place. Her mind was still hazy, but she knew she wanted him as close as possible, and she concentrated on his lips moving against hers, his tongue on her mouth and his chest pressed with her own. He raised his waist a bit to position himself and she felt bliss when he thrusted into her.

Everything was a bit blurry and she vaguely wondered if it had something to do with his earlier action, but her train of thought went to waste when he cupped her breast and massaged it, making her scream a bit louder than expected. Not that it mattered because they were alone for once.

"Keep screaming, China."

 "You wish– _nnnnnh_.'

"It seems you're at my mercy today." He was panting hard, meaning that he, too, was close to his climax. Even if she was still refusing to give in, she had to admit he had more than outdone himself this time.

Entering into ecstasy for the second time in a row and feeling the man shake on her arms, she buried her face on his neck, breathing laboriously as he came to rest on top of her. She kept her eyes closed, taking in his scent as she waited for her heartbeat to go back to normal, though it seemed impossible at the time.

"I hope you're happy now and you'll let me sleep peacefully."

Still at a loss for words, she nodded to let him know that, just for the meantime, she wouldn't bother him. He raised his head a bit, though.

"You're strangely quiet. Did you forget how to talk?" His gaze was mischievous, and she would have replied if she had had any words to say. But her brain was not working properly.

* * *

This was a first for him. Not once had he seen that kind of face on Kagura and not once had he wanted to make love to her as much as he wanted to now. The thought, however, stopped him dead in his tracks.

Made _what_ to _who_?

He was bewildered, and he had not expected this. She was looking at him with blue half lidded eyes, her gaze on him but at the same time completely unfocused. Her cheeks were burning, a healthy red dusting her cheeks as beads of sweat made her pale skin glow; her lips, swollen, were partially open, and she was struggling to breathe as pants kept coming from her mouth. Her tangerine hair was sprawled on the _futon_ , some locks framing her face.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight.

_'What. The. Hell.'_

He wanted to divert his thoughts and he noted she wasn't talking yet.

"Are you alright?" She nodded again and he cursed at how beautiful she was.

_'Beautiful and China are not meant to be together on a sentence. Not in my head.'_

"Well, I can boast now I have left you speechless for once. Though I always knew you're not on my level."

"Ke-keep dreaming." Her voice was a whisper, but it was enough for him to hear. Pushing him off of her, he landed on the floor with a thud. She made an attempt to stand up, but as soon as she stood, her legs gave away.

"What the fuck have you done to me?" Now that was more like her. Cussing and swearing.

"Nothing I'm aware of."

She glared at him, and he shrugged innocently.

"It was just oral sex. Pretty common nowadays."

"I know what it was, but I would also like to know why I can't walk at all."

"I already told you I'm too much for you. I'm afraid you'll have to sleep it away."

Putting an arm around her waist, he dragged her down with him again , covering them both with the blanket.

"You'll be quiet now, right?"

She huffed, but made no attempt to move, so he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

* * *

Her heart was still beating out of control and she felt her skin burning. What had he done to her? She didn't know if it had something to do with the oral sex, with the fact that it was him or whatever. But she had to admit that, even if she had seem mad, she was actually feeling amazingly.

Making a mental note to search for information later, she also closed her eyes in hopes of having a peaceful slumber. Her ear to his chest, she fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

This time, she dreamed of kids and laughter.


	14. Nightmares

He walked forward, more than aware of the looks people were giving him. Silent pleas, jealousy, curiosity, ambition. Women looking for his company and men wishing he would just vanish into thin air. He didn’t really care, and he didn’t pay any attention. He never had.

Maybe that’s why he had become popular in the first place. A stoic, strong and handsome man only a few could get. A dream for all the girls and a reality only for a few of them, the lucky ones.

He wasn’t interested. Not anymore. He had somewhere else he was supposed to be.

When he had stopped mysteriously sleeping with girls, the rumours had started. He kept coming to Yoshiwara, but there were no happy and proud girls the mornings after. Did it mean he just came here to drink alone? To have some harmless fun? Maybe he had gotten himself a secret lover? The truth was, however, nobody really knew what was going on.

Some of them had tried following him, but he had not been a Shinsengumi Captain for nothing. He was intelligent and cunning, and that meant that, if he didn’t want to be found, he wouldn’t be found.

Well, that wasn’t what he wanted, but what she had decided.

It had been strange for him at the beginning, too. Different. He wasn’t used to the same girl over and over again, but they had a deal, and he had to admit she was addicting. Fiery red hair, void deep blue eyes and milky smooth skin. Nothing like the others. Nothing like what she used to be. Nothing like he imagined her to be. Always loud, boisterous and bubbling. Where was she now?

That was always the question entering his mind when he embraced her, his arms around her waist and her hands tangled in his hair. Her old self would had never let him touch her, not so intimately. But the girl beneath him didn’t seem to care when he took her clothes off, leaving her skin exposed for him to see and taste and enjoy. She didn’t squirm when his mouth found her neck and stomach and legs, and the once shouts of protest whenever he clashed his sword with her umbrella had turned into moans and gasps of pleasure.

That was what it all was about. They didn’t care about each other, not anymore. Whatever had been between them had turned stale and now the ashes of their old camaraderie were the only reminders of what their life had once been. Of when she laughed and picked her nose and shouted to a silver haired samurai and a glasses boy. When his only interest had been to kill his superior in the most absurd of the ways and when they would punch each other in the face whenever they met by chance in the streets of the busy and lively Kabuki District.   

Before the White Plague had come to take everything away.

* * *

He woke with a jolt, his upper body heaving with ragged gasps and his eyes wide open. He took a hand to his forehead, damp with sweat, and he ran a hand through his hair, taking the sticky locks away from his face. Breathing deeply in order to calm his uneven pulse, he sighed slowly, letting the air out.

A dream. A bad one, sure, but it was now just a distant memory.

He looked around the room, realising it was nighttime as everything was dark, and finding the Yato lying next to him looking straight at him with a questioning gaze. She was such a light sleeper sometimes he wondered if she had ever had to spend the night awake in fear of someone attacking her. Other times, however, she didn’t seem to have ears and she slept like a child.

He opened his mouth to wet his dry lips, and her eyes followed his movement.

“A nightmare?”

“Maybe.”

He tried to remember what had woken him in the first place. Kagura had been in the dream, with a nostalgic feeling accompanying her; something about rumours, too, and people looking at him. Ah yes, something about the first months after their agreement.

He regarded her again, now propped up in her elbows and still looking at him with curiosity. She had changed since then. A change for the better, however. He had changed, too. He did care now, and she just didn’t know how much.

“So?”

“So back to sleep, China. It wasn’t anything.” He grabbed the blanket to cover them again, and he rested his head in her chest.

“Uh? What are you doing?”

“Your breasts are so big I might as well use them as a pillow.”

“You pervert!” She smacked him in the head, but he didn’t budge.

“I don’t think you can call me that at this point.” Burying his face even more in her warmth, he tried to distract himself from his current thoughts. He didn’t want to deal with anything related to his past so late in the night, or so early in the morning. What a better way to divert his mind than to infuriate this prone to violence girl?

* * *

Kagura stilled in bewilderment. What was going on? She was _oh, so peacefully_ sleeping for once and then she woke up out of the blue. Well, not so out of the blue. It was an unusual sight to find Okita so agitated, a lot less if the cause was a dream. But here he was, gasping for air. As he had just told her, it had been nothing and he wanted to go back to sleep, but she was not stupid.

Even though she was usually the one looking for warm arms around her, he was now clinging to her like a child. More or less. Kids didn’t have such a bad mouth. She wondered the source of his perturbation, and guessed it was related to his late sister. She grimaced, knowing there was nothing she could about it. If there was one thing that got him feeling something, it was Mitsuba.

She wished she had met her, as everyone she had asked about it had talked wonders about the woman. She was nothing like Sougo, as it turned out to be, sweet, caring and kind. Such a big contrast with his brother people couldn’t believe they were blood related.

Said man was currently trying to sleep whatever had made him so restless off. For once, she let him be. Her hands reached for his hair, and she massaged his scalp. He hummed in contentment, and she smiled fondly. Yup, he was such a kid sometimes.  

“Say, Sadist. Are you afraid of something?”

He took his time to answer, and she realized that, instead of answering something among the lines of _‘Are you stupid? I fear nothing’_ , he was pondering the question seriously.

“Everyone is afraid of something, it’s part of what makes us human. So yes, I have my own demons.”

Sincerity was not something she got from him often, and the word human always reminded her about her condition as a foreigner on Earth. Her mind was suddenly filled with lots of questions she didn’t have an answer to, about her, about him, about their demons and their fears.

“I see.”

She decided it had been enough for the night, as she didn’t have the mental strength to continue with the topic at the moment, so she followed his example closing her eyes. She also wanted to sleep this strange conversation off. They already had enough troubles in their daily lives to sum up some more nightmares to them.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive, but very busy!


	15. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY I'M BACK! You don't know how much I wanted to upload this, but writing without inspiration is like not writing at all, and I don't want this story to be rushed or to have crappy chapters, so I hope the waiting has been worth it for you guys! I've been reading all the reviews you've been leaving me and well, thanks for keeping up with me :) Like I said, I won't drop this story (I know how it feels).
> 
> I'll add a few notes at the end to explain some things related with thi chapter and the story in general but, for now, enjoy! :D

Yoshiwara was infested with yatos again, and Sougo knew he wouldn’t find Kagura in the main building for obvious reasons. Whatever had happened between her and her tribe had her avoiding her clansmen. Last time this had happened she had spent the night with him at some random inn, so Sougo racked his brains trying to think where she could be this time. The first place that came to his mind was Hinowa’s, where he knew the former _ geisha _ lived with her son and where Tsukuyo and Kagura normally went to when they had free time. Meaning that Kagura spent more time there than in her workplace. After all, it had been Tsukuyo’s home until she had had to move to the main building to take care of things after the White Plague had struck.

If he’s lucky, he would find her there. The problem was that he could not arrive and drag her out with the excuse of sparring. People would ask him what he was thinking about with all the yatos around, and he couldn’t exactly tell them what his intentions were. 

Now, while some months ago he would only have looked for her to have sex, he now wanted to make sure she was alright. But still, he couldn’t tell them that either; when had they supposedly gotten close in the first place? Still, he decided to pay Hinowa a visit nonetheless, in hopes Kagura would be there alone. However, after greeting the older woman and her son, they had told him that Kagura had left before the arrival of the amantos. Tsukuyo had warned her soon enough this time, and she had fled the place.

That only made him think of one place where she could be - the Yorozuya. He knew she didn’t like visiting, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go, not after her fight with the glasses boy. So, with another destination in mind, he made his way to the surface.

* * *

Kagura jolted when she heard the door of the house opening, startled, and for a moment she feared Shinpachi might have thought of coming to their old house for some reason. She felt her heartbeat speeding up when she heard footsteps approaching the living room, and she jumped to her feet when a silhouette appeared at the door. She was about to yell when she recognised who it was.

“Sadist?”

“Hey, China. Missed me?” Kagura frowned, ignoring his question.

“What are you doing here?”   

“I went to Yoshiwara looking for you, and Hinowa told me you had left before your friends arrived. This is the first place that came to my mind.” He took a few steps towards her, and she sighed and stepped back.

“Not today, Sadist, I’m not in the mood.” Sougo stopped, a frown on his face.

“C’mon China, I’ve come all the way here. You’re always in the mood.” Sougo hoped acting like normal would help him see if she was upset or not and maybe give him some indications as to how he could help her. He cornered her against a wall and his hands rested on her waist.

“Not today. Really.” She looked up at him determined and he sighed, resting his head on her shoulder.

“Fine, China. Not today. But the sky is really cloudy and it’s cold outside, so I’m not leaving.” She smiled softly and, when he made an attempt to straighten himself she stopped him sneaking her arms around his torso. She buried her face in his neck and realised he smelled as enticing as always.

_ ‘No, no, no, Kagura. You’ve said it yourself. Not this time.’ _

“Where is your monstrous dog?”

“I left him with Seita. He always gets whiny when he comes here.”

“And when are your friends leaving?”

“I don’t know, whenever my stupid brother decides it’s a good time.” She realised her slip as soon as the words left her mouth and she stopped herself from biting her tongue. It wouldn’t do her any good now.

Sougo separated himself from her with a curious look on his face. “Your what?”

Kagura felt like she had kept something from him that she shouldn’t have, which was not the case, but still.

“Ah, you see… I have a brother and well… How to put it… He became some kind of authority in Yoshiwara after he defeated Hosen some years ago and it seems he can do whatever he pleases there. So yes…”

“You have a brother?” There’s was no point in keeping quiet about it anymore, so she told him the basics.

“Yes, he’s your age. And a psycho bastard for the record.” Had that been too much information? She wasn’t one to talk about her family so easily but if Sougo was involved, well, she trusted him and it was easy to talk to him lately about anything that didn’t involve her feelings for him.

He started nibbling at the skin in her neck and she huffed. “Sadist, I told you–”

“I know, but you’re tense. I promise I’ll behave; just relax for the meantime, okay?”

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.” Sougo took that at his chance to relax her and lifted her up. She grabbed the back of his  _ uwagi _ to keep her balance and let him carry her to one of the sofas. He sat down and she straddled him, burying her face in his hair. He kept his mouth on her neck, right above her pulse, and she sighed with delight.

“So?” His breath fanned her skin when he spoke, tickling her.

“So what?”

“Tell me more about your brother.” Oh, he wanted to know more. Should she tell him? It was true that she had never liked to talk about it openly, but right now there were only the two of them and she trusted him. She had done so for a while. Maybe it could help her cope with it better? 

She tried to organise her thoughts, trying to put the rapture she was feeling aside. Where to start?

“Kamui and I were close when we were young.” Right, from the beginning. “He used to take care of me when I was just a little child back at our home planet. It was always raining there, and the atmosphere was gloomy and kinda lifeless. The streets were not a safe places for kids to play in, more if you consider we’re yato kids.” Her hands entangled in Sougo’s hair when he moved to the union between her jaw and her neck. “My dad was –is– one of the most strong of the tribe, so it was only normal that his offspring would be considered valuable. We always had to keep an eye out.”

Sougo hummed, showing her he’s listening to every word she was saying even if he’s busy leaving hot red marks along her skin. She closed her eyes, recalling the afternoons she had spent with her older brother playing in the dirty alleys, murky water staining their boots and the hems of their clothes. Kamui used to take her by the hand back then, leading her to all the safe places he could think of and making sure she came back home unscarred.

“Things changed when my mother fell ill. It wasn’t long before she couldn’t walk, so she stayed home in her bed. My dad was never home, so we had to take care of her on our own. I remember sleeping with her and fearing that when I woke up, she wouldn’t be breathing. Things got worse when Kamui decided he wanted to become stronger. It was a tradition for yato children to kill their parents, but I wasn’t quite ready for the shock when they fought, considering it shouldn't have happened. Nobody else follows those stupids customs anymore.” She stopped, because Sougo’s ministrations were starting to get  _ too distracting _ . His hands were on her lower back and his lips were sloppily caressing her shoulders. When had he unbuttoned her kimono? “Sadist…”

“I told you I won’t trespass any limit. Keep talking.” Fine, as long as he didn’t go further down she would be fine. She just didn’t have any kind of barrier when it came to him, so she let him do as he pleased. It was enjoyable, after all.

“I somehow managed to stop them, but my father lost an arm that day and Kamui decided to leave, telling me he had no use for weaklings like me. My father’s trips got longer as time passed by and my mom died a few months later. It was then that I decided to come here. I haven’t been in good terms with Kamui ever since. The rest of the story, you already know.” Well, this was a first for her. She had never told anyone the whole thing herself; some people had learned it bit by bit, some things from her and the rest from other people. Sougo stopped torturing her for a second to answer her.

“So that brother of yours is a jerk.”

“Just a little bit more than you are.” Kagura smirked and looked down at him, leaning in and kissing him. His lips were warm and just what she needed. She had been feeling down but this idiot had come out of the blue to cheer her up. Her heart clenched, a bittersweet sensation taking over her. Did he even know what he was capable of doing to her? She was happy he was here, but she didn’t want to be so open towards him, not when he could turn her into a million pieces with just a few words. That was no way of protecting herself from him, was it? Still, she had fallen a long time ago, and she could only react to his demanding mouth the way she was doing now. She didn’t know any better than this.

They were so caught up in their bubble they didn’t notice the sound of the rain getting stronger as the door opened, then being muffled again as it closed. The sound of glass cracking on the floor, however, did make them jump out of their skins. Kagura scrambled out of Sougo’s lap even though she knew it was already too late as the man himself stood up, on guard.

The person standing on the other end of the room had a shocked and disgusted expression and Kagura froze on the spot.

Shinpachi.

“What are you two doing here?” His voice was cold and hard, and she took a step forward with a defiant expression.

“That's none of your business. What are  _ you _ doing here?” Sougo observed how the other boy sighed with exasperation, trying not to snap at the girl in front of him and pinching his nose.

“Oh, god, I don't have time for this…” he muttered. “Look, whatever you were doing, I don't care. You are old enough to make your own decisions. I'm just here to let you know that Otae is on the hospital. I guess you can recognise this.” He pointed to the floor and Kagura realised that there were shards of glass and a pink substance everywhere around Shinpachi. It must have been the crushing sound Sougo and she had heard before, had Shinpachi dropped it? The liquid looked familiar and she tried to guess where she had seen it. Ah, yes, it was the medicine for the White Plague, the one that helped alleviate the symptoms, though it didn’t stop the mortality. What was Shinpachi doing with that?

Then it clicked.

“Shinpachi, who is that for?” The truth was that she already knew the answer to the question.

* * *

 

The first thing Kagura did when they returned to the Yorozuya, drenched to the bones and no Shinpachi in sight, was to throw herself at him and cry her eyes out. Sougo wasn't expecting less. She had managed to keep a happy face when she had entered the room where her “ _ older sister _ ” had been moved to not even 2 days ago, as the older woman had explained herself while he waited outside to give them some privacy. Shinpachi had only told them where to look for his sister just to disappear right after, so Sougo had decided to accompany the Yato to make sure she wasn't alone.

He knew how important Otae was to Kagura, and how much she missed her ever since Boss had disappeared and she had had the fight with the glasses boys. He also knew she preferred to keep her distance, because Otae was the only person Shinpachi had left and because she didn't want to start a fight between the siblings. So it was no wonder she started crying as soon as they got to the Yorozuya, clinging onto him for dear life and soaking his clothes with her tears. The issue with the Yatos suddenly seemed very far away.

Sougo held her tightly against him, not speaking a word but rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down as she gripped his uwagi with desperation and sobs wrecked her body. His other hand cradled her head. He was not sure what he was supposed to do. He wasn't good comforting people in the first place, and if you added to it that this was cold, emotionless Kagura sobbing in his arms he was at a loss. He had prayed for her to wear her heart on her sleeve like she had used to do back when she had been part of the Yorozuya trio, but to see her like this, so openly broken again, was not something he wished for anyone. He had been there when Gin had disappeared, and he had seen her cry more than once in everyone’s arms –Shinpachi, the old hag, the masochist ninja, Tsukuyo,... He had cared for her at the time, but he wasn't as emotionally attached to her as he was now and she wouldn't have looked for him anyways. They had been rivals, even friends if someone looked close enough, and he would have saved her if she had been in danger, but they both had known he would not have been her first option if she ever needed a shoulder to cry on. Now, he was completely in love with her and the only thing he wanted was for her to be happy again, to smile and laugh. These last news were anything but welcome.

When her sobs finally died down he realised they were both trembling; their clothes were still wet.

“C’mon, we'd better take a bath.” Sougo led her to the bathroom by the hand, taking her clothes off with utmost care and folding them before turning on the tap. Kagura tugged at his own clothing, indicating she wanted him to bathe with her and he complied without protesting. He made sure to collect their hair into buns –lest they were to fall sick. She stood beside him, her arms latched to his as he wondered if there would be hot water after more than 4 years, though as soon as steam started to rise his doubts were dispelled.

She was the first to enter the bathtub, hissing when the hot liquid touched her skin and sitting with her knees bent, pressed to the front to let enough room for him to plop down behind her. When he finally settled he sneaked his arms around her waist to pull her closer and she nestled her head in his chest, breathing deeply.

“Isn't the water too hot?” Her voice was barely a hoarse whisper.

“I thought you'd like to be here for some time, and I don't want the water to be cold in a while.” She hummed in response.

* * *

 

After more than an hour later, in which Kagura had cried two more times and he had kissed the top of her head until she had stopped, they stepped out of the bathroom wearing Gin’s old kimonos. Hers was far too big for her size, but it was the last thing in her mind at the moment. She was still trying to grasp what Sougo was still doing here; he should have left after the hospital visit, but he had insisted to take her home and even though she had tried to keep her tears at bay to avoid more awkwardness, it had been just too much. She was more than glad he had stayed even after that in the end, however. He was, after all, the only person left to make her feel completely safe.

With that thought in mind, and wanting a distraction to forget everything that had happened today for a while –from her brother coming to Earth to Otae’s illness–, she approached him and grabbed his sleeve, halting him in the hallway leading to the office. She was aware of the nightmares that would plague her dreams tonight and, the longer she stayed awake, the better.

“Sougo,” he turned his head around at the mention of his name and she looked at him with sad yet determined eyes as she continued “can you…?”

“Eh?” The girl could see the confusion in his features turn to understanding. “I don't think–”

“I need things out of my mind right now.” He still looked uncertain. “Please.” He completely faced her then as she took a step forward, untying the  _ obi _ at her waist while the  _ kimono _ fell to the floor, pooling at her feet. Sougo took the sight in front of him with reverence. He had seen her naked countless times yet he knew he would never get tired of her –her red hair was as fiery and as long as always; her white, soft skin was as inviting as any other day and even though her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were red and puffy, she looked breathtaking. She was offering herself to him. In her most vulnerable moment, she wanted him to be there with her. And she  _ really needed him _ right now. But, was this alright with her in her current state?

When he didn't move, too stunned, she took one last step towards him, reaching for his face and softly pressing her lips to his. 

“Please, Sougo.” That seemed to take him out of his stupor, because he responded right away to her kiss, cupping her face and slipping his tongue inside her mouth. She guided him towards the main room with confident steps while he untied his obi too, falling backwards when his knees hit one of the sofas and his back collided with the cushioned back. Kagura was quick to open his kimono to straddle him, slipping the clothing off his shoulders and never leaving his mouth. She proceeded to fumble with his damp hair to undo his bun. He groaned when her thigh pressed against his erection so he bit her in retaliation, leaving red marks from her neck to her breasts. She melted into him when he took one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and lapping and making her moan. His hands settled on her buttocks as hers entangled in his brown locks –that had taken her long enough.

They were completely alone and the downpour outside muffled the sounds, so they were free to scream their lungs out. He guessed she would be happy, since she had always been loud to begin with. The confirmation came as a cry of pleasure when he rocked his hips up and Kagura's hands balled in his hair, her nails scraping his scalp. He was now busy with her other breast.

“ _ Aaaah _ , th–that's not fair!”

“Tell me about it!” he hissed. “You won't stop fucking moving and I won't last much more. What are you waiting for? I know you're wet enough so, where's the problem?” He wasn't sure how he had kept his voice firm because she was torturing him and he was hard enough as it was. He bit his lip when she looked at him with bright, glazed eyes one last time before she slowed herself down onto him painfully slowly.

Sougo moaned and refrained his hips from shooting upwards as Kagura shuddered. The less he moved for now the better for the both of them. Besides, he wanted her to lead this time. She let out a breathy sigh when she took him in completely and locked eyes with him again. He shot up his eyebrows and half smiled at her, signalling he was ready whenever she was. The girl closed her arms around Sougo’s neck and touched her forehead to his, eyes shut as she started to move. Sougo groaned and searched her lips to mute the rest of the sounds  threatening to come out; she had flushed her chest to his and he really,  _ really  _ couldn’t take it anymore.

“K–Kagura, wait.” She smirked against his mouth.

“Are we having problems down there, Mr officer?” she taunted. She had the nerve to tease him in the middle of it all. Out of all the people he knew, she had to have the nerve to tease him. Him, Okita Sougo the Sadist aka one of the most desired men in Yoshiwara, nonetheless. The worst part of it was that he didn’t care. At this point he couldn’t care less if it made her smile in return. And well, she was usually the one at his mercy; he could take it this time. So when she continued with the same rhythm and did nothing to stop, he had no choice but to abide.

Kagura felt him snap, holding him in her arms as he buried his face in her neck moaning, his body shaking several times. She didn’t pause as he came, preferring to let him make the most out of it and enjoying it herself and, even though it was not enough to make her reach the peak, she had more than enough knowing that he was letting her see him like this. She knew of his pride –hell, who didn’t?– but the fact that he willingly allowing her to hold him like this, oh god. She didn’t have words to describe it, her heart swelling with tenderness and her eyes moistening. What would she give to be like this forever, in his arms and revelling in the security they provided, with the love that sometimes felt like it was real.

When he stopped trembling she didn’t let go of him, just moving barely enough to slip out of him , and Sougo wondered how dissatisfied and uncomfortable she had to be.

“I thought you wanted this to last long?”

“Mmmh, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Bullshit, you were the one who needed this the most out of us; you asked me, after all.” He softly pushed her away to properly look at her. Against  his better judgement, she was grinning.

“I said it was fine, I don’t–” She was cut half sentence when Sougo kissed her again full on the mouth, biting her lower lip and placing a hand below her right breast, his fingers teasing her skin. Her eyes closed on their own accord.

“You can’t fool me, China. You’re as greedy as I am, and I can tell you’re as wet as before.” She didn’t have the strength to answer him when he shifted their position and her back landed on the sofa cushions, arching when he positioned himself on top of her and rubbed their groins together. Oh god, he was at it again; he just needed a bit of time and she was sure she was gonna enjoy it in between.

* * *

 

When she finally found the strength to start breathing normally again they were both laying on a _ futon  _ they had somehow managed to pull out in the middle of their lovemaking. Sougo had been panting on her neck with heavy sighs trying to catch enough air and now he was facing the ceiling as she curled up at his side with blurry eyes. She still couldn’t focus her sight; that last orgasm had been intense. Feeling the tiredness of the day catch up with her at last, she managed to mumble a thank you before falling asleep, dreading the nightmares that were to come but glad she was not alone. He couldn’t make them all go away, it was beyond human possibilities, but his presence was a constant reminder that she would make it through to another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here I am again. Regarding the chapter: I don't know if you remember it but it's said in the film that a person with the White Plague only lasts one month, so this chapter takes place one or two weeks before the movie time, in which Otae is still alive. I'm keeping the movie plot for this story, so Shinpahi and Kagura make up there. The following chapters will happen after that.
> 
> Sougo doesn't know about Kamui being Kagura's brother bwcause I decided to stop the manga events in the Shogun Assassination Arc (since the Farewell Shinsengumi arc had not finished when I started writing and I didn't know how things would be).
> 
> And one last thing, Pieces is coming to and end. I'll write two~three more chapters, then it will be over. I have the prompts already decided, and I will write some things you asked me to, so please be patient. I don't know when I'll update again but I promise you I will finish it completely.
> 
> **EDIT: IF YOU HAVE IDEAS YOU'D LIKE ME TO WRITE, PM ME, I'LL TRY TO WRITE THEM AS LONG AS I CONSIDER THEM APPROPIATE FOR THE STORY**


	16. Hey guys!!

So, this is not the last chapter but a heads up that I'm working on it and I want you to know that I haven't forgotten about this story, I just haven't had the motivation nor the inspiration to write anything at all (much less worthy of all the love you've given this story). Please come kick my ass so I can work on this while juggling my school work in between (lol when I started this story I was avoiding studying for my high school finals and now I've started my 3rd year of college lolol). So yes, that's al for now. You can come talk to me here and here: tumblr (aozul) or twitter (aozul27)!!  
and sorry again guyss

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there again! Constructive criticism is always welcomed, as I'm not an English native speaker. 
> 
> Thanks a lot for all your lovely comments and support! I'm always ready to read about all the things you've got to say, be it related to the fic, to Gintama -what on earth is going on in Gintama atm omg- or to whatever you feel like talking about.
> 
> You can also find the story in tumblr and ff.net, my name is also aozul in both of them.
> 
> Have a nice day and besos desde España!


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